Life Beyond the Limelight: Strategies for Personal Growth and Productivity

Have you ever wondered what the transition from child actor to production maestro feels like?

Join me and special guest Ricky Powell as we explore the highs and lows of life in entertainment. This episode peels back the curtain on the emotional rollercoaster that acting can be, from the joy of performance to the often-unseen battles with issues like body dysmorphia. Drawing inspiration from Matthew Perry's memoir, we dive into the importance of vulnerability and support systems in an industry that does not pause for introspection. We also investigate the enigmatic world of fanatology, discussing fame's dual-edged sword that cuts between public desire and private yearning for anonymity.

Ricky Powell

• Email: ricky@LifelongHappiness.com
• Tel: +1 805-279-4222
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lifelonghappiness/
• Calendly: MeetWithRicky.com

Pivoting from the stage lights to the final curtain, we contemplate the profound influence of death on how we live. Working in death care, as Tanya shares, can shape a deep appreciation for the present and remind us that mortality is the great equalizer. On a lighter note, who doesn't battle the beast of procrastination? We share actionable strategies that promise to pry you from the clutches of delay, highlighting time blocking and the Five Second Rule as tools to help you seize the reins of your life. Whether you're a dreamer on the brink of action or a seasoned pro looking for a nudge toward efficiency, this episode is a trove of personal reflections and insights that inspire a commitment to more intentional living.

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Transcript

Voiceover: 0:03

Tales from the Wild, stories from the Heart. A journey into the mind and soul of fired-up business professionals, where they share their vision for the future and hear from a different non-profit organization every month as they create awareness of their goals and their needs. Dive into a world of untamed passion. As we join our host, Shireen Botha, for this month's episode of Friends from Wild Places.

Shireen Botha: 0:35

So being a child actor and then finishing that part of your life off and then moving to behind the camera, that is quite into production, right, and that's quite a change. How was life behind the camera as opposed to in front of it?

Ricky Powell: 0:55

I loved it as well.

Shireen Botha: 0:58

Did you prefer it?

Ricky Powell: 1:03

I love them both in such different ways, right? So I still, to this day I would jump back, you know, in front of the camera and a heartbeat because it'll always be in my blood. It's just something I enjoy so much. But being behind the camera in post and I was like the liaison between all the outside producers and every internal team, so making sure that everyone was on the same page, that the shows were delivered exactly to our specs I put all the timings in for where the commercial breaks went and did all the branding with the rating icons and the peacocks and the lower third graphics, and it was a.

Ricky Powell: 1:44

On one hand, it could tend to be a highly stressful job because I used to tell people I lived my life in 30th of a second, because there's 30 frames per second in video, and so I had to round everything correctly, up or down, otherwise, you know, shows would get up, cut or down, cut, going into or coming out of commercial breaks, and yet at the same time it became very second nature to me. So you know, I found it easy and fun and a challenge and I loved, again, helping the producers stay calm, because it could be very stressful for them as well, because that's kind of like their baby they're handing over to me, but I always made sure that that I put them at ease and you know. So I really enjoyed that aspect.

Tanya Scotece: 2:30

Wow, very cool, very cool. I'm always fascinated, Ricky, about the like, the emotional side of actors and actresses, right, for example. So, like from a lay person's perspective, you know, if you grew up watching a TV series, it's like you know everyone wants to be that character or wants to be that person. And then, as we all mature and age, like we realize that you know, some of the people that we admire most had challenges just like us. Whatever that looks like life's challenges. Be in the eyes of the camera from your perspective and all the people that you know like your circle. Do many people escape that quote unquote profession without having, for example, body dysmorphia or hypercritical of themselves? You know what I mean. I'm trying to get to that emotional side. Or is it just a job? It's a great job, it's fun, even all the soap operas. What's your take on that?

Ricky Powell: 3:30

Great question, Tanya. I think it's both. I really do. I've never really looked to see if there are any statistics about that there. Very well could be.

Ricky Powell: 3:41

I consider myself just so incredibly lucky because, you know, again, that was my very, very first love was to be an actor, and I just was so lucky because I had such a supportive mom. You know she had such a blast, we would have so much fun together. She picked me up from school and take me on the interviews and auditions and then when I would get things, you know we'd be on the set really early and we just really enjoyed the whole experience. And yet I know that many child actors were not so fortunate, you know, and then didn't have a supportive parents or you know things like that. And there are a myriad of reasons why they would not leave the industry unscathed, you know, but fall prey to, whether it's a crooked manager, agent or a bad parent, you know, bad parenting or, who knows, as we've learned as the years have gone by, you know, and there have been many famous cases of producers or other stars and what they would do, you know, to especially women. You know behind the scenes and all of that Darkness, right.

Ricky Powell: 5:01

So I think it's just a case by case basis, but I would say the latest perfect example of this is Matthew Perry from Friends right. And little did we know, as that audience, that home viewing audience, all those years, the pain that he was going through and just suffering as a human being, and you know they were all supporting him. And now, finally, all these years later, you know he wrote his book and he just wanted to help the maximum number of people he could. And what's so beautiful about writing a book or doing something in this landscape is that your work will live on forever. You know so we'll all get to see the reruns of Friends forever, but at the same time, now that he has that book, I think that's going to help so many more people suffering from some of the same things.

Tanya Scotece: 5:54

Yeah, and it's part of one of the curriculums that we teach in mortuary school is actually like fanatology, it's funeral service, counseling and ethics, so it has that ethical and psychological component to it. As far as you know how we understand people and their emotions and what we look at people to admire, so what's kind of interesting, for example, like if you look at a bell curve, right, so you have people like late people that maybe want to get famous, right, they want to do something. And then you have these, you know actors and actresses that take off and they get so much fame that they just want to be invisible. You know, like it's kind of like they go off to the you know I mean.

Tanya Scotece: 6:30

So it's funny how some people spend their whole life wanting to draw attention to themselves and then others are like, been there, done that, and they just want peace and quiet and they don't want the fame and fortune. So it's very interesting.

Ricky Powell: 6:44

Yeah, it really is. It really it's such a, it's such a paradox, right, because people think they want that, but you know, they just have no concept of what it's like to literally have to give up your life to that limelight. In fact, oh gosh, it kind of circles me back to a story which I wanted to share with you also, as it relates to death, if that's okay, yeah or or or wheelhouse.

Ricky Powell: 7:15

Yeah, I mean so to that point of it being your wheelhouse. My whole perspective of life and death and all of that really came into crystal clear focus when I was 23. And again, I had just started on the Golden Girls. And the way I got that job is I had become best friends with a young man named Michael Lawrence and we became best friends in high school and we did the music man together on stage. He was Harold Hill, I was Marcellus, and had so much fun. Then we went on to Cal State and we were through together in college, did one more show. Then we both switched from theater to radio TV film. Then we were in each other's film projects and he really was like the brother I never had. We were so close. And then as soon as we graduated he got a job at this production company with Thomas Harris. They did soap in Benson in the 70s and then went on to the Golden Girls and emptied the nest and many more.

Ricky Powell: 8:13

And it was six weeks after he had started working there I was at home with a fever, 102 fever, no voice and he called me and he said Ricky, this is your big chance. They need a post runner to take the tapes around and I said I'm sick as a dog, I can't even talk. Doesn't matter, call anyway. I did. Went for the interview lady, looks at my resume and says well, you have a nice resume, but Michael recommended you. You're hired, and that's how I started there. And so now here we are, working together. Life doesn't get any better.

Ricky Powell: 8:44

And then, six months later, it was February 5th 1986. I remember it like it was yesterday. And it's eight in the morning. I'm in the office and I pick up the phone and the phone rings and it's the lady who hired me and she said Ricky, I have bad news and so I'm thinking what could it be? You're fired. I was expecting something like that. She said Michael had a heart attack and died this morning. And I said what? And I mean that was the most devastating news I had ever received. You know I had lost my grandparents and family members.

Ricky Powell: 9:19

But that all made sense. Right, here's this 23 year old kid who never took a drug in his life. He was an athlete. He would give you the shirt off his back and now he's just gone. And so I said his parents were famous singers, steve Lawrence and Nini Gourmet. They were in the middle of the country. They were flying to New York to pick up his older brother and then flying home. I said I have to go to the house. So here's what happened. I'm screaming down sunset Boulevard. Why him, why not me? Because I felt like I should have been dead a hundred times already from stupid things I had done in the past or whatever.

Ricky Powell: 9:58

But what was so interesting is that when we were 18, 19, 20 years old, we had a tight group of friends and when the subject of death would come up, michael would say I don't know what you guys are talking about. I'm never gonna die, it's not gonna happen. And we all looked at each other like what, what are you talking about? But you know, we just chalked it up to that, michael being Michael, and that was it. And also one day after school, when we were still in college, I was over at their house. I was in a 1981 gray Toyota Tercel. That was my car and I was leaving and I backed up and the gate slid open and as I was backing out, I backed right into the post that held the intercom to the gate and it knocked it off. So there was dangling by a thread and I felt so badly as Michael. I'm so sorry. Tell me how much it is to get fixed. I'd be happy to pay to get it fixed. And his words to me were don't worry, ricky, one day the gate will get you back. And it's such a random thing to say. I had no idea what he meant. I just chalked it up to whatever, forgot all about it.

Ricky Powell: 11:10

Well, now here we are, you know, a year or two later, and I rushed to the house. Friends and family come over. We spend the next four days together, we do the funeral, I do one of the eulogies, and now it's Sunday evening and everyone's leaving. And now I'm in my college graduation gift, which was a brand new 1985 Black Celica convertible. It was my dream car. And I pull up to the gate and the gate opens and as I start driving out, his girlfriend was walking through the gate. Now, I just spent four days with her. Everything that needs to be said has already been said. There wasn't a reason in the world to talk to her, and yet something made me say so. Julie and I just started small talking with her and as we're talking, the gate slowly begins closing and smashes into my car to the tune of $2,200.

Tanya Scotece: 12:07

Oh, wow, wow wow.

Ricky Powell: 12:13

And in that moment I looked up and I said, oh my God, thank you so much. That is just that's exactly what I needed, exactly. Yeah, I mean, my mom and I always used to have these discussions what happens after this life and she said I think this is it. I think we're born, we live, we die and that's it. And to me that just never made sense.

Ricky Powell: 12:36

Wow, that's amazing, amazing Full circle there, right Full circle, yeah, and so to this day, I feel like he's sitting on the shoulder, my mom is on the shoulder, and I just think that that energy never leaves us. It's just here with us forever.

Shireen Botha: 12:54

Right, I love it. Thank you for sharing that, Ricky.

Ricky Powell: 12:59

Oh, absolutely, thank you. Yeah, so, Tanya, I mean, that's why I'm just I'm so fascinated with what you do, because I think that our whole look at death and how we feel about it again, it goes back to that personal philosophy, right, because when you can remove that fear of death that so many, probably the majority of people have, it just gives you, I think, a freedom, just a lightness and a freedom to allow you to really live fuller and deeper, and all of that.

Tanya Scotece: 13:36

And also being in death care, like working at a funeral home, like as a funeral director and whatever capacity, funeral assistance, funeral attendance, when you see death with your own eyes every day, like that's what you do when you go to work, it does change you like, it changes your vision, it changes your mission because you know I've served, you know, the most affluent folks. I've served many homeless folks, indigent folks. So at the end of the day it's, like they say, like death is an equalizer right, I mean for humanity, but it does shift the way you live. So I live through death, that's right, yeah, yeah, yeah I love that.

Shireen Botha: 14:17

Thank you, guys. I love this conversation and I hate to change the topics, so let me just quickly jump in here with a Buzzsprout ad and then we can continue with the questions. So here at Friends from Wild Places, we use Buzzsprout. I started this podcast to share stories from other business owners and professionals A safe space to show support for other business owners and entrepreneurs all over the world. I feature nonprofits every month to try and make a difference or give a helpline to someone in need.

Shireen Botha: 14:51

Do you have a message you want to share with the world? Or maybe you just think it'll be fun to have your own talk show? Podcasting is an easy, inexpensive and fun way to expand your reach online. To start your own podcast, follow the link in the show notes. This lets Buzzsprout know that we sent you and it really helps support our show. The team at Buzzsprout is passionate about helping you succeed. So, Ricky, back to you. I just want to ask you what are some ways that we can combat, because you spoke about. One of the topics that you love talking about is procrastination and how to avoid it. So would you mind sharing a few ways that we can combat procrastination?

Ricky Powell: 15:49

Yeah, absolutely. And procrastination, I think, is such a universal issue that comes up for so many people and in fact we started referring to it as creative avoidance. So meaning you know you have to do something, you know you have to do a particular task and you're just about to do it and all of a sudden, and maybe you're a little hungry, maybe you'll just grab a bite first, or you have to make some other phone call first, or you have to do a load of laundry, or you just you know you come up with any excuse so that you just don't do the thing right. And so there are a few things. One is really scheduling your week ahead of time, really planning your entire week, say on Sunday evening, so that you know every half hour what your ideal schedule will look like for the week. And of course things come up where you know things will pop up or emergency situations or whatever, and you just kind of handle those as needed. But otherwise you really try to stick to that schedule as much as you can. And within that schedule there's what we call time blocking, so that you know if you have a bunch of calls to make or whatever. You know you schedule maybe an hour and a half or so. So if you're going with half hour blocks, that's like three blocks for 90 minutes of time where you make those calls or you do that podcast or you know whatever the case may be. So time blocking helps and you can do that in terms of hours or days of the week, right, maybe Monday, wednesday, friday you do these things, and Tuesdays and Thursdays you do those things, very much like what our class schedule used to resemble years ago. There's kind of a method to that madness, if you will.

Ricky Powell: 17:44

Also, a great book I found on this topic is Mel Robbins. I don't know if you're familiar with Mel Robbins, but she became a New York Times best-selling author. She's got a podcast now and she wrote a book called the Five Second Rule. Sometimes people laugh because there's the five-second rule of dropping food on the ground. You can't defy, it's still safe within five seconds.

Ricky Powell: 18:11

But with this she had a great career and then all of a sudden, everything was on the rocks. Like her career was on the rocks, she couldn't even get out of bed in the morning. Her marriage was failing and she kept hitting the snooze button. All of a sudden she saw a video clip of a rocket ship blasting off and she heard the countdown five, four, three, two, one and then it just went up into the sky. She had this epiphany that she said well, maybe as soon as I get that urge that I know I need to do something, whether it's get out of bed in the morning or speak up at a meeting or whatever it is, go to the gym. If I close my eyes and countdown five, four, three, two, one I could just blast off myself, just like that rocket ship. She did it and it was the biggest epiphany ever.

Ricky Powell: 19:06

She started doing scientific research into it and wrote this entire book, which has changed hundreds of thousands, if not more, people's lives, just for that one simple thing. In fact, she's got a TED talk as well, but I highly recommend that. If procrastination is an issue, it's a great philosophy. Again, what is your philosophy? It's a great philosophy to have, because it really helps you understand that you are the driver. You can put yourself into motion and overcome whatever it is you're facing in terms of procrastination.

Shireen Botha: 19:43

Right, and I just realized that the reason that I wanted to ask that question is not only do I think that a lot of us in general not just business owners and entrepreneurs struggle with that, but I think a lot of people in general have that mind block. And I don't have it all the time. I literally have these waves at very unusual times in my life where there's nothing that triggered it, and I'm good with time management. I'm a kind of person that I have my diary and I set out exactly what I'm doing and the three things that I need to complete today. I've got to put that down on the list. I've got to make sure that I put all my meetings in place to make sure that I know what times I have available and what times I've.

Shireen Botha: 20:36

My point is that my time management is pretty good, so even with that in place, I still get these waves. Where I just can't. It's like OK, I know I've got to get that done, just not in the mood to do it. Wait, let me see what else is on the list. Ok, let me do this one Instead. I'll come back to that one. And then I think that one thing, three days later, was still not done and there's no specific reason for it. It's so strange. And it's not an all-the-time habitual thing. It just happens every now and again in my life and nothing really that I know triggers it. It's just so unusual, it's yeah.

Ricky Powell: 21:23

So I no that's.

Shireen Botha: 21:25

Right. Oh, go ahead, I'm sorry, no, and hence my question of yeah.

Ricky Powell: 21:30

well, I'm glad you mentioned that. So it brought up a couple of things. One is you said you don't feel like doing it, and that's the thing. So often we don't feel like doing anything. But therein lies the issue, because it's like facts don't care about your feelings, right, like, whether you feel like doing something or not is almost irrelevant, because you just have to resign yourself to the fact that there's a good chance. You'll never feel like doing it and there's never a right time for anything. Right, there's never a right time to, you know, get married or have children or you know what you name it. You switch careers. There's never a right time.

Ricky Powell: 22:14

Or the other way to look at it, which I love, is right now is the right time, right. Like, the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is right now, right. So that's part of it, just to kind of put your feelings aside and just do it anyway. And the other thing is I wonder if sometimes fear may play into it, if, for whatever reason, there might be some kind of fear hidden within you that you may not even be aware of. Like, what if you did that thing that you know you need to do like. Would that make you more successful? And if it would like, is there potentially some sort of fear of success? Or, you know, the opposite can be true too. Are you just, you know? Are you afraid to do something because you may fail? Or so much can play into what keeps us from doing what we need to do?

Shireen Botha: 23:12

Right, right, that makes sense. Yeah, it's a very interesting topic because, as you said, it might be something that's at the back of my mind that I'm not realizing. It could be a fear of failing. It could be a fear of yeah.

Ricky Powell: 23:31

And I think that other thing too is like we love as human beings, we love staying in our comfort zones, but all the magic happens outside our comfort zone. So there's that component, I think too, that plays into it. We don't wanna do something because we're lazy or because we just don't feel like it, like you said, but it's just knowing that it takes a second to change a thought and you just go for it and get it out of the way, and then, once you do, how do you feel? And maybe this is something you can focus on too. So can you remember a time when you didn't wanna do something but you did it anyway?

Shireen Botha: 24:11

Oh yes, yeah, it was a great feeling afterwards, yeah.

Ricky Powell: 24:15

Yeah. So that's the state, and this is where NLP comes in too. That's the state, that feeling of how you felt when you accomplished it, that's what you wanna draw upon. So it's just a matter of closing your eyes and bringing yourself back to that state and understand that you'll get there again if you just get it out of the way and do it.

Shireen Botha: 24:38

Right, I mean, there's even one, Sorry, Tanya.

Tanya Scotece: 24:42

You know what? No, it's interesting listening to this conversation because I kind of go under the motto of Steven Covey's book with the sharpening, the saw right.

Ricky Powell: 24:50

I believe we did that motto sharpening the saw.

Tanya Scotece: 24:53

So I, outside of my work and my you know like commitments that I have, I don't like to schedule anything and Sherene knows that like nothing, like I wanna eat when I wanna eat, I wanna exercise when I wanna exercise, sleep when I wanna sleep. So I've kind of taken that other but I embrace it Like it's so freeing not to be on someone's calendar. I shy away from what do they call those calendlies Like go get out.

Tanya Scotece: 25:21

No, no, no, no, I don't. I like my calendar like just clean and I'll just if they're available. That's fine and I did live very rigidly for many years. But it's interesting, cause the procrastination? So, for example, let's say it's cleaning your space or whatever it is. If I don't wanna do it, I won't. Maybe years ago was like okay, saturday morning was reserved for this task. Now it's like if I feel like I wanna get up at three in the morning and clean up the whole place, that's what I do. So it's just interesting how everyone has different ways to get the job done, so to speak.

Ricky Powell: 25:54

That's true, exactly. Yeah, that must feel so liberating. I love that. That's great.

Shireen Botha: 25:59

And talk about declutter. Right, talk about declutter. If you wanna know more listeners about how to declutter your life, you can listen to our previous episode with Zeenat Siman, who is a professional organizer. So I'm just gonna plug that in here before we continue. But yeah, so I love what you said, Tanya. We're all different and that's the beauty of it, and I think I was just mentioning from my perspective, because that one thing that I didn't do for three days when I actually ended up doing it, it was 10 minutes, not tops, and I was done with it.

Ricky Powell: 26:41

And.

Shireen Botha: 26:41

I asked myself, my goodness, why. What was stopping me from doing such a small thing that cost me 10 minutes of my day? It was the strangest thing. I can't explain it to you Again. Not usual habits of mine is procrastination, not a thing for me, so it just happens, these weird moments. So I just wanted to chat about that. Tune in next week for part three of Friends from Wild Places.

Voiceover: 27:11

You've been listening to Friends from Wild Places with Shireen Botha. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast from the links to catch every episode and unleash your passion.