As we wade through the complexities of professional and personal evolution, Tanya Scotece and I encounter the intriguing crossroads where passion meets purpose. Our latest conversation on Friends from Wild Places is a tapestry of insights, starting with the often-overlooked necessity of separating your business and personal finances for a myriad of benefits. But we don't stop at practical advice; Tanya leads us into the fascinating incorporation of AI within the funeral industry, reshaping how we memorialize loved ones.
The heartbeat of this episode, however, is the incredible journey of Brian G. Bachand, our guest who traded his vestments for the boardroom. Brian's candid recounting of his time as a priest during the harrowing period of the Catholic Church scandal is a sobering reminder of the deep impact institutional breaches of trust can have. We navigate these turbulent waters, acknowledging the Church's steps towards healing under Cardinal Sean O'Malley, while considering the broader societal implications of such revelations. Brian's personal saga of self-discovery and authenticity, leaving the priesthood to fulfill his true potential, serves as a beacon for anyone wrestling between the allure of comfort and the call of their true vocation.
Our episode concludes with a reflection on the essence of taking risks for the sake of personal fulfillment. I share a moment of revelation in Rome, where the glittering prospects of a clerical career could not outshine the profound need for personal authenticity. Brian's courageous choice to leave a prestigious path for a therapist's couch, and eventually a new life, demonstrates the transcendental power of living true to oneself. Join us for a journey of heartfelt revelations and the pursuit of passion that defines an authentic life on Friends from Wild Places.
As we wade through the complexities of professional and personal evolution, Tanya Scotece and I encounter the intriguing crossroads where passion meets purpose. Our latest conversation on Friends from Wild Places is a tapestry of insights, starting with the often-overlooked necessity of separating your business and personal finances for a myriad of benefits. But we don't stop at practical advice; Tanya leads us into the fascinating incorporation of AI within the funeral industry, reshaping how we memorialize loved ones.
The heartbeat of this episode, however, is the incredible journey of Brian G. Bachand, our guest who traded his vestments for the boardroom. Brian's candid recounting of his time as a priest during the harrowing period of the Catholic Church scandal is a sobering reminder of the deep impact institutional breaches of trust can have. We navigate these turbulent waters, acknowledging the Church's steps towards healing under Cardinal Sean O'Malley, while considering the broader societal implications of such revelations. Brian's personal saga of self-discovery and authenticity, leaving the priesthood to fulfill his true potential, serves as a beacon for anyone wrestling between the allure of comfort and the call of their true vocation.
Our episode concludes with a reflection on the essence of taking risks for the sake of personal fulfillment. I share a moment of revelation in Rome, where the glittering prospects of a clerical career could not outshine the profound need for personal authenticity. Brian's courageous choice to leave a prestigious path for a therapist's couch, and eventually a new life, demonstrates the transcendental power of living true to oneself. Join us for a journey of heartfelt revelations and the pursuit of passion that defines an authentic life on Friends from Wild Places.
Tales from the wild, stories from the heart. A journey into the mind and soul of fired up business professionals, where they share their vision for the future and hear from a different non-profit organisation every month as they create awareness of their goals and their needs. Dive into a world of untamed passion. As we join our host, Shireen Botha, for this month's episode of Friends from Wild Places.
Shireen Botha:
Right, welcome. Welcome, Shireen here, your virtual bookkeeper. Let me give you the gift of knowing the reasons behind keeping your business and personal finances separated One, take advantage of tax deductions and benefits. Two, protect your assets from legal liability. And three, establish a business image and credibility. If you want to know more, why don't you give your business the best gift yet and hire SBS today More than just a bookkeeper. Go check me out at www. shireensbookkeeping. com and allow me to keep your books clean so you don't have to. Shireen's Bookkeeping Services, your bookkeeper for the future. Well, welcome back. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Wherever you are in the world, you are listening to Friends from Wild Places, with myself, Shireen Buatta, and my amazing co-host and mortician, Tanya Scotece. Tanya, what is news in the funeral industry today?
Tanya Scotece:
Oh, good morning, good afternoon and good evening everyone. So funeral industry updates. So they're trying to incorporate some of the AI artificial intelligence into our industry with the use of, you know, kind of perpetually memorializing somebody. So it has its own. I'm not going to say anomaly, but it's like QR codes with headstones, memorialization, almost like time capsule kind of things for the deceased.
Shireen Botha:
So that's what we've been experiencing on the funeral side. That's a little bit interesting, right? So we're excited audience and listeners because we have someone very special to introduce you today. I wonder if you heard about the one, about the former priest who evolved into an executive and now focuses work on your mission connector. Well, that person is real and our guest today, Brian G Bachand, founder of Evolution, Evolution. Yes, its name is twice on purpose to help you and organizations evolve from confusion to clarity through an authentic approach to create conscious change in a spirit of joy. Welcome, Brian, it's so good to have you here.
Brian G. Bachand:
It's a pleasure Great to be here with you, Shireen and Tanya, and also with your audience today. Thanks so much for the warm invitation.
Tanya Scotece:
We're so happy to have you and looking forward to this amazing podcast.
Shireen Botha:
So everyone knows that Tanya and I have a real passion when it comes to true crime. So once again we are going to do our normal little icebreaker, where we love to talk about either crimes that are happening right now as we speak, or crimes that are interesting to us from the past. So today we just want to talk about a specific one from the past, where the Archdiocese of Boston's sex abuse scandal was part of a series of Catholic Church sexual abuse cases in the United States that revealed widespread crimes in the American Catholic Church. In early 2002, the boston globe published results of an investigation that led to the criminal prosecutions of five roman catholic priests and thrust the sexual abuse of minors by catholic clergy into the national spotlight. Another accused priest who was involved in the spotlight scandal also pleaded guilty.
Shireen Botha:
The Globe's coverage encouraged other victims to come forward with allegations of abuse, resulting in numerous lawsuits and 249 criminal cases. Ultimately, it became clear that priests and lay members of religious orders in the Catholic Church had sexually abused minors on a scale such that the accusations reached into the thousands over several decades. A major aggravating factor was the actions of the Catholic bishops to keep these crimes secret and to reassign the accused to other parishes in positions where they had continued unsupervised contact with youth, thus allowing the abusers to continue their crimes. Brian was a priest during this time, so, brian, tell us a little bit about your experience and how it affected you.
Brian G. Bachand:
Sure. So I was a priest for the Archdiocese of Boston. I was ordained at 27. And I have to say I had such a positive experience when I went through the seminary.
Brian G. Bachand:
And I was sent to a beautiful parish west of Boston for my first assignment and it was amazing. I was also there in 2001 when September 11th happened, and I remember being in the parish as a young priest, just about a year year and a half ordained, and when that happened the church was packed with so many people because we were in Boston. There was such a connection with Boston and New York during that time. There was such a connection with Boston and New York during that time and literally a year later just about that is when the sex abuse scandal erupted, just like you said, like that famous movie that you know came out, spotlight, which I'm sure so many people have seen, and I remember reading that in the newspaper, hearing it on the news, and as a young priest in the parish, I was learning at the same time and it was something that was really jarring because I didn't know many of the names and it was hard Like I was trying to process information, as my parishioners were as well, and I have to say I had not been exposed to that when I was in the seminary or even as a priest, and many of the priests that I knew who were ordained with me, they were in a very different place, like you know. We were like, wow, like what was happening? And you raised a very good point. Part of the big issue were the bishops and the way decisions were made, and that was where a lot of anger was coming. And that's where a lot of anger was coming, with priests, you know, saying like why was this happening? So when I was in the parish, I have to say I felt very loved by the people and I felt very supported by the people and I think people saw me as this young priest that you know didn't like wow, like we believe in you, we love you, we, you know, we hope this doesn't tarnish. You know where you are at.
Brian G. Bachand:
And so fast forward, a couple years later, the Cardinal, archbishop of Boston, cardinal Law at the time he did resign. He resigned because the way the scandal was handled and a new cardinal came to town, cardinal Sean O'Malley, and he was brought in as a healer. He was brought in to bring restitution and he made it very clear the day he was installed, like I'm here to bring healing, I'm here to make challenging decisions and the victims come first. And he also cleaned house in terms of administration. And I received a phone call on a Thursday night from one of the assistant bishops asking if I could come in for a meeting and he said oh, everything's great, we want to speak to you about an opportunity. And that's when I was told that the new cardinal had selected me to be his new private secretary, which is like chief of staff. And it was such a gift because I had no idea that I was being selected for that, but I was there to help support him as he met with victims, as he made challenging decisions, as he had to go to Rome and meet with the Pope and share about what was happening and trying to bring healing, and it was such a gift to be part of that healing aspect and supporting him.
Brian G. Bachand:
And I think, just to summarize, you know you have a passion about crime. Yeah, there were crimes that were committed. I think one of the greatest crimes that may not be persecuted in a legal system is when there is broken trust, when that is the greatest crime. That I think really is something that can be repaired, but it is something that is very hard and I think that was one of the greatest crimes. But at the same time, I think it opened up a sense of transparency and a sense of openness. Still a long way to go, in my opinion, on certain issues, in certain areas, but I really believe that was kind of the crack that opened things up and still a long way to go for many. But that was my nutshell version. But I'm happy to expand if you have other questions sure, sure, sure, sure.
Shireen Botha:
I think when that happened it broke a lot of people's hearts and it broke a lot of people's faith in the Catholic church, because I think the Catholic church was put on a massive pedestal and we all looked up. As you know, it's quite a big religious place. I don't know if this word sect is the correct word to say, but they were quite a large part in the different types of religions that are out there. And when it comes to the Catholic Church, it is just so interesting how much faith people lost and the realization of you know they're only human, the realization of you know they're only human. These are human beings just like you and me. And just like you could find pedophiles in every sort of business inside families, outside families, you can find it in the Catholic Church as well.
Tanya Scotece:
I have a question, though, in the meantime, for Brian, while we will recap with you Shireen, in a second. It's fascinating because I grew up Roman Catholic in Connecticut, born and raised in Hartford, so I just have you know, for our listeners out there, what was your journey to become a priest. You know, like was it a moment in time or was it? You know, like your upbringing, how you as a person in your family, I don't know, do you decide to become a priest or how does that happen?
Brian G. Bachand:
That's a great question. That could be a whole podcast and I've certainly spoken about that, but that's a brilliant question. So you know, I think for me I grew up as the youngest of five children. I was a huge surprise it was 16 years between myself and the oldest. I was born into a Catholic family but you know, we went to church on Sunday. It was funny. We never said grace before meals or any of those things that you think a Catholic household will do, but we went to church. The one thing that was different was God or faith was spoken about at home, like if, let's say, say, I was nervous about a test at school or something, I remember my mom saying well, you know, say a prayer, you know you do your part, you do your best, you know, but you know, ask God to guide you, et cetera. And I really believe you know.
Brian G. Bachand:
Now I look back and I was always just very spiritual. I think as a child I was just very. There was just a deeper sense of connection, the way I connected to people, the way I felt situations, and I think, because I grew up in Catholicism, because you had that inclination for spirituality, it was like well, you become a priest. You know now I realize that it isn't the case, but I went to university. I went to regular undergrad university in the Midwest. It was went to university. I went to a regular undergrad university in the Midwest. It was a Catholic university. That was great and had fun and studied overseas and, you know, got a degree in communication. But I was involved with the Catholic kind of chaplaincy at the university. And I remember my senior year there was a retreat that was being offered. It was an advertisement for anyone that thought they might have like maybe the thought about a vocation. There was a retreat and I went on that retreat and it really like, really affirmed and made me feel that wow, I want to explore this further. It wasn't like I left that retreat and like, oh, like I'm done, like sign me up, like I just knew it was the right.
Brian G. Bachand:
Next step was to apply to the seminary after I graduated and then I went through, you know, about four months of interviews. I mean psychological testing, reference testing, you know academic background testing, panel interviews and at 20, what was I? 21, 22, I mean that's a lot to go through and they really weed out. And then I was accepted. So then I knew the right next step was to begin year one. And every year I was evaluated and it was a sense. Every year became wow, this was good, I see how I'm growing, I would like to continue. This is great. So when it came time to be ordained, there was a sense. It's no different than a relationship, like when you're dating someone. You're like, wow, okay, I think we have things lined up. You know the best they can be. Now it's taking that next step.
Brian G. Bachand:
And my father was really beautiful. I always remember he said to me he said there is no shame upon you if you ever decide to leave. And he said because it is not an easy choice. And he said you know it can be beautiful. But he said and he said you know it can be beautiful. But he said if you're not going to be in with all your heart and doing it, it's better to step away. And so for me, it was just one affirmation after another.
Brian G. Bachand:
But then, when I became a priest, that's where I kept evolving. You know, that's where my heart began to open. I loved being a priest. I have to tell you like I loved being in the parish. I loved the parishioners. I still hear from many of them I felt like I was a priest in Vegas, like I did so many weddings, Like I was like the wedding priest and I think it was because the pastor I live with used to tell me you know, he used to call me Junior. He was very funny because he was older. He said hey, listen, junior, the only reason you're doing these weddings is because you're young. You look good in the pictures but like I loved it because it was. It was a joyful moment.
Brian G. Bachand:
But I think being a young priest is also where my heart began to open up and I think I was a late bloomer in terms of accepting myself and what it meant to be a gay man and wanting to be able to love another person and coming to terms with that. And I think I was obviously being groomed for a lot of leadership as a young priest. When I went to the Cardinal and I realized it was such a powerful gift of the universe to show me I could bring my gifts, I can stand in my truth and I can bring that to the world in a new way and I'm so grateful I listened to that and I'm so grateful that for me personally, even light of our earlier discussion of many of the horrible things I've seen. I also saw tremendous beautiful things as well in the lives of people and and what took place. But I'm very happy to be where I am now and I'm grateful for the training, having been a priest. So that's it in a nutshell. There's a lot there there, but I yeah, that's to answer it and it gives a sense it was a very human experience. I just I think that's the thing I want people to know is a very human experience of going through the seminary, having doubts, incredible academic formation.
Brian G. Bachand:
Every year you had an assignment. The first year they sent me to the women's state prison in Massachusetts at 22 years old, and I found out later that they give that assignment to the ones that they want to test the most because it's a hard assignment and I loved it and so much so that I continued on even through the seminary and as a priest, and I started a program when I was in the parish to bring parishioners to the women's prison as well. So it was incredible. I did hospice work dealing with AIDS patients. They sent me to South America for a summer and did mission work. They sent me to South America for a summer and did mission work. So I was tested and tried and I went into it with an open heart. But I'm also grateful that my heart didn't close upon ordination and I kept really being open to where the spirit of who I am was leading me.
Tanya Scotece:
Wow, beautiful, what a beautiful story and just you know, in sharing, you know, your personal journey with us. So two things that just come to mind as you were saying. So one is, when you mentioned that you were being tested, you know, and they have this assignment at the women's prison in Massachusetts. What was the reason, in your opinion, that that was like the hardest not hardest, but one of the most trial trials and of times, for example, like, why not a male prison? Why, why? Like? What is it about females in prison? That was there to test you.
Brian G. Bachand:
So every year in the seminar there's different programs that you're part of. Like every year, you have a kind of a work that you're doing as well. So there were male prisons that seminarians were sent to as well. That was in a couple of years ahead. For my first year the assignment was the women's state prison. They had a very long relationship with the sister who ran the chaplaincy there. She's still there. She's incredible.
Brian G. Bachand:
And you know they selected myself and one other seminarian to go there because, you know, any prison, whether it's male or female, I think, is going to be a very challenging assignment. So for me it was the only prison assignment that was available that year. Me, it was the only prison assignment that was available that year and it's tough. I mean no-transcript, comfortable environment, family-wise, you know, well-educated, you know, had kind of a plum of a life, you know. And then all of a sudden I'm in the seminary at 22 and I think they want to say like hey, like you know, here are some individuals who have had some very challenging situations and they wanted to see, like you, you know, do you have the internal stamina, do you have the ability to listen, to grow, and um, I don't think it really mattered that it was a women's prison or a men's prison. I think dealing with prison is challenging and it really the gift.
Brian G. Bachand:
The gift for me, was seeing those individuals with the eyes of love and seeing them. These women were beautiful, that many of them learning their stories, that circumstances oftentimes beyond their control are what brought them there. Meeting a woman that had killed her husband she was part of our group, but because of the abuse and the horrific abuse that had gone on, meeting women that unfortunately came from economic situations that they couldn't afford a lawyer and because they didn't speak English that well, they were in prison. You know the separation of parents and children. It was incredible. And so for me, at 22, you know, mr, you know, all like out of university, all in here, they were my teachers and that is what just opened me up, that it just made me realize I loved it and in many ways it wasn't about going in there to show them or teach them. It was more about bringing your presence, your love, your openness, because that is the essence of human connection. Yeah, that was the gift I took out of that yeah, no, I, I, I truly appreciate your.
Tanya Scotece:
You know your words. As far as you know, you're sharing. And where did you actually grow up? I know you said university and things at Midwest.
Brian G. Bachand:
So I'm a Boston guy, so I grew up in Boston, but I grew up on the North Shore of Boston and then did my undergraduate in the Midwest and then came back to Boston and then did my undergraduate in the Midwest and then came back to Boston Awesome, awesome.
Shireen Botha:
But what I'm very intrigued with this whole conversation, brian, is the quote of the day, which is a quote that you provided us is you have nothing to lose and everything to gain, and with a little bit of your story that you've shared with us today, I think that is so applicable, and you acted that out through and through. So what does that mean to you, this quote?
Brian G. Bachand:
You know, I think that quote, I love that quote you have nothing to lose and everything to gain is. It is about being open and to me it's a very like spiritual quote, although I think it you know it came from Steve Jobs, who I think knows but it really is about being open, that it's about that sense that when opportunities come or you meet someone, oftentimes our logical minds or where we are will want to say no, I can't do that, or I've already made this decision, or I don't have the resources to go on this. Or you know you get invited to go to something it's like well, it's already too late, I need to get home. Sometimes you have nothing to lose by being open. You have nothing to lose by maybe going and seeing what's there and you may have everything to gain.
Brian G. Bachand:
And for me, like I look back at my life of when I was at a moment, you know, working with the Cardinal, we're in Rome, there were some things that were coming my way about, you know, some, maybe some new opportunities, and I realized I don't want to live this way. I come to terms and like I'm a it was a leap when I accept who I am in my heart and I'm not going to live in like these two worlds. The glamor of a golden cage isn't attractive to me. You know what I mean. And I had nothing to lose by saying and going to work with a therapist to say I think I may want to leave the priesthood, and I had everything to gain by standing in my truth. And so that quote just means everything to me and that's how I live.
Tanya Scotece:
Tune in next week for part two from Friends from Wild Places.
Voiceover:
You've been listening to Friends from Wild Places with Shireen Botha. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast from the links to catch every episode and unleash your passion.
