Friends from Wild Places

The Art of Balancing Spontaneity and Order

Subscriber Episode • • Shireen Botha/Tanya Scotece • Season 4 • Episode 4

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What happens when the unexpected collides with our perfectly curated plans?

Tanya Scotece and I invite you to explore the exhilarating yet sometimes chaotic world of surprises. We share personal tales of joy-filled adventures and heartwarming birthday celebrations that illuminate the lighter side of life's unpredictability. However, for those of us with a penchant for structure—like me, with a business to run—surprises can also test our patience and adaptability. Together, we unravel the tightrope walk between embracing the spontaneous and maintaining the balance necessary for managing both professional responsibilities and personal commitments.

Tanya Scotece

Shireen Botha


Then, we unwrap the magic of holiday surprises and their power to ignite joy, even in the sun-kissed warmth of a South African Christmas. Dive into the fun of my pajama-gifting tradition, where a whimsical scavenger hunt, led by artfully designed bronze keys, turns gift-giving into a memorable adventure. Tanya and I discuss how these thoughtful surprises can be personalized to enhance the magic, such as engraving the keys for an added touch of uniqueness. Let your imagination wander as we provide fresh, creative ideas that can inspire your own festive celebrations, full of warmth, creativity, and joy.

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Voiceover:

Tales from the wild, stories from the heart. A journey into the mind and soul of fired up business professionals, where they share their vision for the future and hear from a different non-profit organization every month as they create awareness of their goals and their needs. Dive into a world of untamed passion as we join our host, Shireen Botha, for this month's episode of Friends from Wild Places.

Shireen Botha:

All right. So good morning everyone. I am Shireen Botha, your boutique bookkeeper and QuickBooks pro-advisor. Do you think getting a personal or virtual assistant to handle your business books is a smart idea? Think again. It's a classic case of jack of all trades, master of none. While they may juggle many tasks, they lack the specialized knowledge needed for accurate bookkeeping. They lack the specialized knowledge needed for accurate bookkeeping. Outsource your bookkeeping to a skilled professional with experience in your industry. Gain peace of mind knowing your finances are handled accurately and in compliance with local tax laws. So invest today and don't settle for less. If you are that business owner that has no bookkeeper, then why don't you book with me and we can have a free consultation? You want to know more? Go check me out at www. shireensbookkeeping. com and allow me to keep your books clean so you don't have to Welcome back.

Shireen Botha:

Listeners. Listeners, you are listening to friends from wild places, with myself, Shireen, with my amazing co-host, Tanya Scotece. Yes, if you are listening, you're listening to us behind a paywall. This is our bonus content, our extra um, our extra content that we're creating for you. A place, a safe place, where Tanya and I are going to go deeper on some issues that we're creating for you a place, a safe place, where Tanya and I are going to go deeper on some issues that we deal with day to day. These are our own experiences and our own ways of how we got over it. If you are struggling with any of the topics that we are talking about, please don't hesitate to reach out to a professional. Um, and there's nothing wrong with with reaching out to professionals and asking for help. Therapists are amazing. I have one myself, um so, and have had one for many years. Uh, so, yes, that is our plan, and thank you so much for your support, tanya, and I really appreciate it. So, yes, tanya, welcome. How are you today?

Tanya Scotece:

Thank you, shireen. So, yes, always, always a pleasure when we collaborate on these different topics and I was, you know, just kind of as I do my daily meditation reflecting on some you, some topics that our listeners might engage in and find helpful and useful and, as you mentioned, if there's anything that people need support with, obviously reach out and seek professional help. But this morning I just I wanted to maybe throw out some couple topics, shereen, and you can pick which one resonates with you this morning, shireen, and you can pick which one resonates with you this morning. So one is you know we can dive a little bit deeper if you'd like on the topic of the body image, which we had talked about a little bit previously.

Tanya Scotece:

As far as you know, struggles and I think in that podcast you had, you know, some challenges with being the quote unquote tall, skinny kid, right growing up and how that affected you. We've also talked about, you know, bullying in school, like, you know, lower grades, you know, like intermediate school, primary school, we've talked a little bit about that. So we can A go a little bit deeper on that and see where that segues to. Another topic is the element of surprise, right, and I always find that an interesting topic, because some people love surprises right, and they find it fun and lighthearted, and other people it's completely opposite. So which do you prefer this morning? You want to dive a little bit deeper into the previous topic, or you want to talk about the element of surprise and how that feels to you, and what your take is. What do you think?

Shireen Botha:

No, I think let's do the element of surprise, because that's an interesting topic, because it really depends on the environment and the situation. For me, I absolutely love surprises in the sense of you know, if someone has decided to do a little birthday surprise or take me out somewhere unexpected, or do a birthday dinner surprise, something like that, I love it, I think that's so cool. Or even going out, you know, just suddenly like come, shireen, let's go on an adventure. You know, then I'm like keen, like let's go. You know it's hiking, it's going to Harry Potter world in Orlando, you know any of those fun things. I'm always up for the adventure, um, and it makes makes it even exciting if I don't know, but then I am. Also, I like to plan things as well.

Shireen Botha:

I don't like the unforeseen things that affect me last minute, because I do work on a schedule, as you know. As you all know, as a business owner, I have my diary, I have my schedule. You know I set out all my private, you know me time things, my client things, my B&I things, one-to-ones, the networking, um, I set that all out. You know which clients books am I going to spend time on today? So it really is time management, and that's really important, and there's very good things about having that um. And for me to say, for example, suddenly have things change last minutes, um, and I get that kind of a surprise, uh, that does put a spanner in the works for me, um, it makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable. I have to do a shuffling around, and once I've done shuffling around, um, then I tend to be okay with it, like I'll do it, but it's not comfortable for me interesting, interesting.

Tanya Scotece:

So it's funny because I don't know. I think it's, I don't know if it's age related, but the older I get, the happier I am when people cancel. I love it, love it, love it, love it. Like I welcome a cancellation, like, oh, I'm sorry I have to reschedule, fabulous. Like it's just funny.

Tanya Scotece:

Like I I don't and you know me, like my personality like I don't like schedules, like at all. So it's just even my like day-to-day, you know, doing one-to-one people. I tell people I don't like to book in advance. So unless you can do spur of the moment, it's not. I don't like to look at a full calendar. I don't even do a calendar like for, just for, like that's the only thing that's on my calendar, maybe doctor's appointments, but aside from that, like zero. Like it stresses me, like to I don't, I like to get things off my list, not on. So if I had a look at a calendar, let's say for next week, right, and if it said, um, you know, okay, like, do this during that time, like that would stress me because I just like having free time free time yeah, so the so I guess the topic, then, is so with with the element of surprise.

Tanya Scotece:

Can you think of a time that a surprise was positive or a surprise was negative that you wish you knew about it?

Shireen Botha:

oh, um, just by the way, I think you've got a little bit of feedback coming on your sound there, tanya. But let me think I think there was a time, um, you know what? I think I can't remember a specific time, but you know what?

Shireen Botha:

What frustrates me the most about cancellations is if I'm, you know, if it's a meeting like you say, um, and they cancel, and it's normally a business meeting or whatever, I'm not too upset about it, like you are. That does free up my time and I'm like, okay, that's great, then I have some more time to work on my other clients books. So in those moments I kind of enjoy it. But then there's those moments where I'm actually looking forward to say, for example, dinner somewhere, or we've set up a time where we're going to go and do something together and, um, I'm really, really looking forward to it and like I've moved everything around to um, because I know I'm going to be spending the day with that person or with you, and then the last minute it's cancelled. Now, granted, I do understand life happens and that's okay, but it's like I'm disappointed, like I'm like oh you know I've just moved everything around.

Shireen Botha:

I was really looking forward to it. And then so I get disappointed if I'm looking forward to things and they get cancelled last minute. So I'm not not sure. I can't specifically think of a situation or an example right now, but I know that if that's the case I can be disappointed interesting, interesting.

Tanya Scotece:

Yeah, so for me, like I think, the times that I've quote-unquote gotten disappointed, is when we give up our power. Right, because I think when we put that energy into so I'm not saying that it's wrong, or we don't want to look forward to something like an outing or, you know, an opportunity to engage with someone else, but I've learned a few hard lessons that when we put that much energy into that other person, then our emotions are depending on what they do.

Tanya Scotece:

So, if they come true, then we're happy, and if they cancel, we're not.

Shireen Botha:

Right, I think it's more the place that I'm going. I mean, obviously I love to two places with people that I love and enjoy being around. That's a bonus, but should it be the place that I'm really looking forward to going and that scandal? I think it's more the place than it is the actual person.

Tanya Scotece:

I think so the outing, so the outing, maybe the outing itself yeah, yeah.

Shireen Botha:

I would say so, yeah, yeah.

Tanya Scotece:

So it's so funny and you know back to you know like a topic with you know the element of surprise. So I remember I was in seventh grade and I had my friend had given me a surprise birthday party and I was completely surprised by it. Like I showed up, I was supposed to do like a sleepover and it was ending up being like a, I think, a 12th or 13th birthday party. But what I remember happening was and this is around that middle-aged school period when I would walk into a conversation, everybody would stop Like and this was like probably four weeks before. So you started questioning like why are people stopping to talk, like why is their conversation stopping? When I entered this conversation, not realizing that they were putting together a birthday party, which was positive, but for me leading up to it, I didn't know right.

Tanya Scotece:

So I know like there's times our listeners out there maybe have had like surprise, like you know, baby showers, surprise bridal showers, surprise birthday parties, and sometimes you know you sit back and you're like man, like I wished I knew, because maybe I wanted to wear something else, maybe I wanted to look a certain way if I knew that this was happening. So it's just interesting about what the surprise is. What the surprise is, I did have an experience back in 20, let me see, hold on. I think it was 2019. One of my students, janelle Heyman she actually organized the entire class to facilitate a surprise birthday party for me at school. That was a complete surprise, like amazed, but that one I felt good because I was already dressed the way I wanted to go to work. So having a party was actually a positive thing. But I could see like why people like would say, oh, I would rather have known about it as opposed to be surprised about it.

Shireen Botha:

Right, yeah, I mean, see, you know, know, I was listening to you and I'm thinking to myself, you know. The other thing that I found about myself is I also like to give surprises. So I get really happy if I'm organizing something for the other person and they don't know about it. It's like I get so excited more than actually when someone does it for me and I go around. It's all secrets, you know, and I get things together and make the plans and then you know when it happens. It's so exciting and I love to see the smile and the happiness and the joy on the other person's face when they are surprised. So from that aspect, I absolutely love it and I find a lot of joy in organizing something that's a surprise to someone else that they enjoy, you know.

Tanya Scotece:

So what's an example what? What would be an example of that shereen like that you've organized something for somebody else that they didn't?

Shireen Botha:

know so many like. Okay, so you know christmas time, you know me and christmas time since it is the christmas season coming up, um, I am very much a Christmas fairy and I love Christmas, not only for the decorations and putting up, you know, playing all the beautiful songs and getting into the festive spirit, but more because I have the little traditions that I like to do and I can remember. One of the things is I like to give gifts and one of the things is to find matching pajamas for the family. And the first year I ever did it because now I'm sure they're expecting it every year because every year they get something new, so they it's not a surprise anymore, but the first time I did it, I got a little game. It's, um, it's based on the white rabbit, alice in Wonderland, with all the different keys and there's a little poem on each key that gives you a clue to where the next spot is, where they're going to find the next key, and then where they go and find the next key, and then that gives you a clue to the next place, and so on and so forth until they finally find the gift. Wherever it is wrapped up inside, the gift is the.

Shireen Botha:

You know the pajamas and um. You know I love the first time I did that. I love the. You know the reaction to it, the. You know the how much they enjoyed it. Um, gives me so much joy, you know, just seeing people smile and um and really enjoy the season. So those little things. And there's times where I've organized, you know, places to go or organize something that I know is their favorite thing to do. Uh, you know, I have a surprise for you. You, you know when are you available? You know kind of thing.

Tanya Scotece:

So yeah, yeah, those are. Those are like special, special surprises. So when you do the the pajamas for Christmas so you you have is it a key that you give them Like, how is this gift actually unfold? What do you give them?

Shireen Botha:

Right. So I wrap each pajama set in little Christmas wrapping paper and I start with something like a little elf holding each person's first key hanging from like a fan or something. And then they find it and there's a little note hanging from the elf telling them the instructions of what they need to do. Follow the you know, like a little funny poem something follow the instructions on the key to find your next clue, kind of thing. And then each person has the name on their little key and it's a real key.

Shireen Botha:

It's these beautiful bronze designed metal keys, each different patterns, so the person that has their key there's a specific pattern on their key and so the next key will have that pattern and the next key will have that pattern and the next key will have that pattern, and so on and so forth, but their name will be on it. And then there'll be a little rhyme or a clue for the next one and they'll read it and it'll be, um, something silly, like look in the place that you brew your tea, or something like that, but more poetic, um, and they'll rush around and go and look and open cupboards, and um, things like that. And then they find the next key, which has another you've given me some ideas.

Tanya Scotece:

I hope this podcast plays before christmas, because some of our listeners might be so. Okay, where do you get the keys? Where do you get these little brass keys?

Shireen Botha:

so it's actually a game that I bought online at one of these like nifty gift shops kind of things. They have all these different odds and ends and board games and stuff like that, and there it was and I saw it online and it had. Um, you know, alice in wonderland there's a specific name for it um, and I can't remember, but there's many different games like that that you can find. That has the same kind of idea where you know, you know it has like little clues and parent, you know, poems to take you to the next clue. It's a scavenger hunt. There you go. I just haven't.

Tanya Scotece:

Okay, yes, but I love the idea of the key.

Tanya Scotece:

And now, do the people keep the keys or they give them back to you they can, or they can return it and goes back into the little ball game and for another year, you know I think this is such a cool idea though okay for the listeners out there, if you're on with me that were new to this I think we could really take this key thing to another level. Like the person can end up with the key, maybe we put their initials on the key, we can engrave the key. There's so many things you could do with this key that I think it's fascinating.

Shireen Botha:

A hundred percent.

Shireen Botha:

I mean, you can hang it anywhere, put it anywhere, you know, it could be so fun and it doesn't have to be keys, it can be anything, it can be, as you know, be creative in anything you do. But it's, you know, the one year for Christmas time, my brother from Australia, chad, you know, he came with his wife and my nephew for the first time. Um, not for the first time, I think he had come before, but he came um from Australia and spent Christmas with us in Durban and um, and I did it for them, uh, and to see the just the smiles from and it's, it was unusual, because I honestly didn't know that that was their reaction. Well, that was the reaction I was gonna get, um, but they thoroughly enjoyed it, like my parents and my sister know me by now, and so they always go with it and makes him smile, even though they know what's coming, right, right, my brother didn't, and so he, him and his wife were just so, you know they were, they really appreciated, which I really liked, you know yeah, that's awesome.

Tanya Scotece:

Well, you know what? You've given me some ideas for some holiday shopping. Um, I don't really have that long of a list, but I just think that I can really take this, you know, quote unquote, either scavenger hunt or this key, just to another dimension. So we'll have to recap this after the holidays and see, see what, how we, how it manifested. So let me just ask you, shereen, so you, being in South Africa, the weather now is is you are in summer, is that correct? You're, it's warm now, so your Christian time is usually it's not snow at that time, it's it's warm, it's island style, hot as hell beach weather.

Tanya Scotece:

Wow, it's also. It's almost like the actual, like biblical Jesus times, like in the Middle East, where it's hot, like the weather is actually warm, so that's fascinating. So when you see Christmas wrapping paper with the snow and you know like the chimneys, does that resonate with you or does that seem awkward Because that's not your interpretation at that moment? Because that's not your interpretation at that moment.

Shireen Botha:

I think, growing up, that's all I've known. But now, as an adult, my favorite time of the year is winter, and I absolutely love Christmas, and so I actually preferred and would love to live in an area where it snowed at Christmas time.

Tanya Scotece:

Oh, fascinating, fascinating, yeah, yeah, that's fascinating, that's fascinating, well, all right. Well, I think we've concluded our session this morning, our collaboration I hope our listeners found it enjoyable on a lighthearted topic about the element of surprise and, just again, seeing things from different people's perspective, because what can cause anxiety for one can cause joy for the other, and it's all about perception, right. So, all right, our listeners, well, happy holidays and we will catch you next time, thank you shereen.

Shireen Botha:

Thanks listeners and remember, if you have any topics you want us to talk about, please leave a message, um, let us know what you think. We again, really, really support you guys, um, and we we really appreciate your support for us. So this is our little safe space and our little community and we really, really love, uh, spending this time with you. So in that case, it brings us to the end and remember you got this and stay wild. Bye guys, bye-bye.

Voiceover:

You've been listening to Friends from Wild Places with Shireen Botha. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast from the links to catch every episode and unleash your passion.

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Shireen Botha

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Tanya Scotece

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