Bridging Emotional Gaps in Farewell Messages

Losing a loved one can be an overwhelming experience, leaving us grappling with unsaid goodbyes and lingering emotions. Estrella Quiroz, co-founder and CEO of Last Farewells, shares a personal story that inspired her to create a platform that helps individuals express those final heartfelt messages. From the moment she listened to a voicemail from her late father, Estrella knew she wanted to bridge the emotional gap in end-of-life planning and ensure that no words are left unspoken. Join us as we explore how Last Farewells is transforming goodbyes into messages of love and legacy.

Estrella Quiroz

• Email: estrella@lastfarewells.com
• Website: http://www.lastfarewells.com/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/estrellaquiroz

The episode takes a bold approach by questioning the efficacy of stricter immigration policies in preventing crimes like the Lakin Riley murder case. With insights from Estrella, who reflects on her experiences as a daughter of immigrants, and Tanya, with her criminal justice background, we unravel the complexities of linking immigration and crime. Shireen, a South African runner, brings a global perspective, emphasizing that attributing crime to race or nationality is oversimplified and unproductive. Together, we delve into a nuanced conversation about justice, societal perceptions, and the importance of mental health and education in crime prevention.

Join us as we support The Goabroad Foundation this month!

The emotional depth of this episode extends further as Estrella shares intimate reflections on her life's transformation following the loss of her father. Her poignant journey of gratitude and resilience underscores the fleeting nature of life, motivating her to embrace a "second life" with purpose and passion. We navigate the profound topic of unsaid messages in grief, contemplating what it truly means to say goodbye. Estrella's vision with Last Farewells emerges as a beacon of hope for those yearning to leave their lasting words. Don't miss these heartfelt insights and transformative stories that illuminate the path from grief to healing.

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Chapters

• 0:03 Friends From Wild Places
• 5:46 Perspectives on Immigration Policy and Crime
• 12:17 Journey of Reflection and Transformation
• 24:03 Unsaid Messages in Grief

Transcript

Voiceover: 0:03

Tales from the wild, stories from the heart. A journey into the mind and soul of fired up business professionals, where they share their vision for the future and hear from a different non-profit organization every month as they create awareness of their goals and their needs. Dive into a world of untamed passion as we join our host, Shireen Botha, for this month's episode of Friends from Wild Places.

Shireen Botha: 0:36

All right, welcome. Welcome, shireen here. I am your virtual boutique bookkeeper and QuickBooks advisor Benefits of having both a bookkeeping and CPA firm. It eliminates conflict of interest. While both firms should have your best interest in mind, the key is to keep a separation of duties to avoid a conflict of interest. If the same firm handles bookkeeping and tax matters, there is less independence and there is a risk that the benefits provided through an informal or formal audit are diminished. If you only have a CPA, let's chat SBS, experience the difference. So if you want to know more, go check me out at www. shireensbookkeeping. com and allow me to keep your books clean so you don't have to Welcome back listeners. You are listening to Friends from Wild Places with myself, Shireen, and my amazing co-host, Tanya. Tanya, would you mind telling our listeners a little bit more about our extra content we are making just for our subscribers?

Tanya Scotece: 1:47

yes, most definitely, Shireen. So at friends from wild places, we have bonus content, which is where Shireen and I go a little deeper and a little like a deep dive into subjects that we just kind of like raw data and just kind of speak from our hearts. So if you are interested in hearing that for as little as $5 a month, you too can be part of this. If there's any subject that you would like us to dive deeper on that you have an interest in, you can always let us know, be happy to share our opinions. So back to you, shireen.

Shireen Botha: 2:20

Thank you so much, tanya. That's $5, listeners. I mean, that's really nothing. And it gets to all the juicy stuff that a lot of us, as business owners, entrepreneurs or even just women, struggle with on a daily basis. So it's quite fun. But, yes, let's get straight into our visitor. Today we are joined by Estrella Quiroz. Am I saying that correctly Because I don't want to absolutely kill your last name? No, you're fine.

Estrella Quiroz: 2:49

Is that correct? It's like key and rose, so key, rose Key rose.

Shireen Botha: 2:55

Okay Well, we're so happy to have you here, estrella. Estrella is co-founder of Last Farewells. Founder of Last Farewells. Estrella is not only the co-founder and CEO of Last Farewells, an end-of-life planning platform that helps people create and schedule last letters, videos and a personalized memorial page that will get delivered to their loved ones after they pass in. Their mission is to fill the emotional gap in end of life planning and ensure no words are left unspoken. Estrella was inspired to be on this journey with last farewells, all due to a voicemail her own dad left behind before passing. Currently, they're backed by a strong online presence, with over 33,000 organic followers and over 23 million organic followers on Instagram, showcasing how strong a last message can be. Welcome, estrella, it's so great to have you on the show with us today.

Estrella Quiroz: 4:01

Thank you so much. And then it's views, and we don't have 23 million followers yet, but that's on the manifestation board Nice.

Shireen Botha: 4:13

We love that. We'll be manifesting with you. So, listeners, you know that normally we do a little bit of an icebreaker breaker. Tanya and I are absolute crime enthusiasts, so a lot of the true crime that we watch on law and network, uh, on youtube, we like to to pick a case that's really intriguing to us and just chat quickly about it, uh. So first up, the question that I'm going to ask all of us is do you think cranking down on immigration policy will help prevent cases like these?

Shireen Botha: 4:51

So I'm talking about the Lakin Riley murder case. I'm not too sure if any of you listeners are familiar with it, but let me get into it. So Miss Riley, who was only 22, was attacked in February while running on a trail on the University of Georgia campus in Athens. A day later, the authorities charged Jose Antonio Abira, a migrant or migrant who had entered the country illegally, in connection with the killing. He was actually found guilty. The case became a flashpoint in the bitter national debate over immigration policy. He was an undocumented immigrant. So, just knowing the little bits of detail there, let's just discuss that question, you know, do you think cranking down on the immigration policy will even help in such cases like these. Again, safe space. We're just going to touch on on what we feel about the the topic and then we'll move on. So, as our guest astrea, you can go first yeah, of course.

Estrella Quiroz: 5:58

Well, I thank you for um. Well, I knew about this case, but now I know more details about the case. Thank you for the information beforehand. Well, I'm a daughter of immigrants, so I have an interesting perspective, because my dad illegally crossed the border from Nicaragua through Mexico to Texas and brought it along. All of our family are building last farewells, um, all simultaneously. I'm also a girl who goes running in the mornings alone and, based off everything that she had done, she had done it right. Right, she, her friends had no her notification. She went on the university trail.

Estrella Quiroz: 6:34

Um, it's just, it's one of those things where, in my, in my position, I I'm almost like flabbergasted.

Estrella Quiroz: 6:40

But but, to be honest, I I don't know if, if cracking down on immigration would mean it will directly mean that less of these cases would happen, because these things are already happening all over the country and, as the video recap that you had um introduced me said, like, are people just kind of using it for their own political agenda, because now it's just easy to blame? Oh, he's an immigrant. Immigrants are doing this. We need to make policy, rather than thinking about all of the other aspects that could potentially help people in the future not do this which is access to mental more mental health, access to therapy, making things more accessible when people need help, which would then be more preventative rather than just trying to oh, no immigrants allowed, because then you're also eliminating the potential of people like me in the future, who could be building things that would eventually help the US or help many other people around the world. So I would say that's my perspective and I don't believe cracking down on immigration is necessarily going to be the direct solution um to preventing things like this.

Estrella Quiroz: 7:38

There's still, like so much education, um, especially for for men, just to be more aware of their emotions and you know, before beyond like what can we do to even stop? Not even stop, like help prevent these actions when people are feeling I don't know what caused Jose to do this and obviously not justifying anything he did, but, boy, I guess I must like kind of want to rewind back and be like what happened in their childhood or what. Where did these learnings come from and how can we implement a better system in our education to get people more in tune with their thoughts before they create any other actions like this?

Shireen Botha: 8:15

right, right Tanya what do you think?

Tanya Scotece: 8:19

So it's interesting because my and Estrella thank you so much for sharing you know it was very interesting hearing because you're a runner, you know, child of somebody that was an immigrant. So it's very interesting hearing your perspective. My perspective is so. My background is actually in criminal justice right and criminal justice system, specifically here in the United States, is multifaceted as far as incarceration, or in the United States is multifaceted as far as incarceration. So I think in here it has become a very politicized topic with this specific case especially it was, you know, around the time of elections here in the United States.

Tanya Scotece: 8:56

So having a blanket statement to say cracking down on immigration is going to reduce these type of crimes, I don't think it's an act, but I think that's a very one dimensional viewpoint. So from my perspective, what I see is when somebody is found guilty and they are not a US citizen, then it becomes another couple of layers that they have to go through to get prosecuted. So I think the conversation objectively looking at it and everyone knows that listens to this podcast I am not political, so I'm not politically charged at all on this topic I'm very objective. However, I do see how people get very emotional, politicized right, not so much from the criminal justice system. So I think the conversation is just bigger than a blanket question of if we crack down on immigration, would that reduce the crimes, right? So I think that's a bigger, much larger conversation. So how about you, shireen? What's your take?

Shireen Botha: 10:00

Well, I mean a little bit about me. I'm a South African white woman in South Africa, and so I go running. You know I do a lot of backpacking, I'm very much in the mountains and so I need to keep my stamina up. And for me to do that for training purposes I like to go running and so it's always it's never safe to do that by yourself. You know, you try and find places to go running that are the safest area, but unfortunately there are just bad people in the world and you can't narrow it down to race to. You know where you come from. It can't, it can't be narrowed down to something so silly and minor in my work, in my books, in the way I feel, because anybody could be that person. My next door neighbor could go and try and rape me and kidnap me, um, and I would never know, you know, because we don't. We don't befriend our neighbors, um, here, so everyone's just strangers but, um, but you get my point. It has nothing to do about where you've come from, what color you are, what your belief system is. There are always bad people and they could be your next door neighbor. Unfortunately, in this circumstance it ended up being a gentleman that was here in the US illegally and unfortunately, I feel like that's just a piece of a detail in the bigger and broader story, and I think people have just jumped on the bandwagon and made it a political thing to fuel the stricter um immigration policy. Uh, that I think somebody trump or somebody's trying to put up, but yeah, that's what I think, uh, but interesting case all around, though.

Shireen Botha: 12:17

But let's move on to our quote of the day, if you guys are ready for it. Our quote is from Estrella. She said to well, she's going to tell us who actually quoted it, but she gave us the quote of the day saying we all have two lives. The second one starts when you realize you only have one. Right, this is such a good one, estrella, so why don't you go ahead and tell us who actually quoted, who made this quote? Um said this quote and what does it mean to you specifically?

Estrella Quiroz: 12:52

the first time I ever saw this quote. Uh, it said lemony snicket. And then I think deeper. I want to say confiscute. I can't say his name. But I'll be honest, the first time I ever saw it I thought for many years I was like, yeah, lemony snicket said that, but I think it's a philosopher from way back then. So I'll need to fact check that, but I think it's Confiscate. I can't say the name, oh yeah and but yeah, when I saw it was Lemony Snicket. So oh, and did you ask, why did I choose it?

Shireen Botha: 13:23

yes, like what does it mean to you?

Estrella Quiroz: 13:24

oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I've always. It's actually on my last four worlds memorial page that I created. That is the quote I chose um, it's something that I the moment I saw it, it was my quote um and be it's. Up. Until I was 18, I was a different version of myself and I was a straight edge student. I was academically focused. I was like I'm gonna get my parents, uh, go get a job, get a poverty. I was everything right. Uh, I was like I'm going to get my parents go get a job, get a poverty. I was everything right in high school. And then, the moment my dad passed away, everything changed. I went outside the country for the first time. I went to his funeral in Nicaragua and that moment I realized, like after, there's, like I know, the biggest moments in my life. There's like before 18, and then, like after 18, like before my died and after my dad died, I became two completely different people. And so I really resonate with that quote, because it says we all have two lives.

Estrella Quiroz: 14:16

And the second one starts when you realize you only have one. And I really believe my second life started at my dad's funeral. It just completely changed everything for me. So I yeah, I get. I think that's a an important quote, because it's it's almost around more. It is around mortality, it's just realizing that life is short. And then, once you realize life is short, you start acting differently, you start moving differently and doing things differently for sure.

Shireen Botha: 14:40

That's so interesting and I can't believe you lost your. What? Were you 18 when you lost your father? Yeah that's he. That's real young. Hey, that's real young to lose your father.

Estrella Quiroz: 14:53

Um, yeah, yeah he had been deported two years before um. So, as on the topic immigration, if anything, it causes more trauma for the people left behind here right uh, but he was deported when I, um, when I was 17.

Estrella Quiroz: 15:07

And the last time I saw him I was 16. But I remember he was deported when I was 17. And the last time I saw him I was 16. But I remember he was already in the prison getting ready to be deported. So my last memory of him, the last hug I gave him, was in a prison and you don't think it's the last hug, you don't ever think it's the last.

Estrella Quiroz: 15:20

You're just like oh yeah, I'll go visit my dad. I did end up getting my passport because of that. I was like, oh, I'm gonna go eventually to Nicaragua and visit my dad, but you think you have more time, but you don't make. I didn't make the time because I was in high school, so I'm no. No, I'm in this in class. You know I'll go later and later never came. So I was never able to actually see him alive in Nicaragua what a heartfelt story is right.

Tanya Scotece: 15:41

What a just an amazing. You know, just, truly, truly it just captures. You know my heart even listening to, to your story right thank you, thank, yeah, it's definitely.

Estrella Quiroz: 15:51

Um, I was just reflecting yesterday. I was I'm actually supposed to be in London right now, but I realized there's some moments for stillness and peace needed, and I just reflected and I literally wrote yesterday that, um, sometimes I really, though, if you don't feel it in the moment, it's so nice to appreciate the, to have the lows, because then when you experience the highs of life, you have something to compare it to and you're like, oh my gosh, do you remember when I was X this? Or when I was in my dad's funeral and holding his hand and I was crying? And now I'm here and I feel so much gratitude and peace.

Shireen Botha: 16:32

So, if anything, I was grateful for the lows because it's it's built mental resilience, but it's also just allowed me to live life more beautifully and more in color. I love that.

Estrella Quiroz: 16:44

Well, since we're on the topic, astrea, why don't you give us a little background of the events leading up to you actually founding Last Farewells? I love, I love, I love the, I love the magic, I love the universe. I love all the serendipity that has gone into last farewells. It's definitely it wasn't something you're, but I never in my life thought I'd be an entrepreneur. Um, but it all really did start with my dad's funeral. He was deported. Uh, my class raised money. They uh that helped me go to Nicaragua for his funeral. And I was the only sibling I'm one of seven. I was the only one that was able to go because of money. So I had to navigate my dad's funeral alone, alongside my uncles and aunts, and it was just a really, really hard time, but it really did open my eyes to the fragility of life. I wrote myself a letter right after his funeral and it was like Estrella, you got to change, you got to make time for more people, you got to take time, to be slow, right. And so I also met my family in Nicaragua and I absolutely fell in love with the country. So now I go back often, but that inspired something in me when I saw Nicaragua.

Estrella Quiroz: 17:34

It was the first time I ever left the country and I was like you know what? I'm going to find a way to travel the world. And I was just about to go to university. I got a full ride and the first thing I did was sign up for a study abroad program. I was like I don't care if I have to take out loans, I'm going to get a credit card, I don't care, I'm going to go. And I did, and I went to study in Italy and instead of coming back after the program ended, I stayed a couple of months backpacking. So I went on this backpacking tour and that inspired me so much. I went alone and I came back and changed my major to tourism and because I changed my major to tourism, I was able to use more student loans, more credit cards, more scholarships to study abroad in universities.

Estrella Quiroz: 18:08

So by the time I graduated, I had gone from seeing just one country Nicaragua to seeing 40 countries, and I used that to apply to this company called GoAbroadcom as an intern. They really liked my application. They created an internship position for me to do it full time. And that's how I met my CEO, troy. I met him there and he's actually the one who invited me to be the co-founder of Last for Worlds years later. So he went from being my CEO to now saying hey, estrella, I know you have your dad's Well, I'll talk about the voicemail later but he's like, I know your story and I think you'd be the perfect person to you know, restart, reignite Last Four Rolls. They had tried to do it many years prior, but he just wanted someone with passion in a story.

Estrella Quiroz: 18:54

So, yeah, I would say in short summary, my dad's funeral kickstarted me to like, I'm going to major in travel the world and go see everything, major in tourism.

Estrella Quiroz: 19:04

And then that connected me to my CEO, who now has invited me to become the co-founder of Last Farewells. And when he invited me to, you know, reflect on my daily actions, people I surround myself with, the adventures I choose to go on, and, oh my gosh, it just all made sense. I was like if more people think about the end of their life, or if I can help more people create glass farewells, then people are going to when they're grieving, they're going to also reflect on their own life decisions. Are they in the jobs that they want to be in? Are they around the people they want to be in, are they doing their bucket list items? Are they saying, you know, like are they doing the things that they want to do? So, yeah, it all just made sense to me. I was like wow, god the universe, everything has led me up to this point in the past 10 years, to be co-founding Last Farewells at this very moment.

Tanya Scotece: 20:08

I got goosebumps just you sharing that story about the. Yeah, it's like you could tell. It's the like genuine truth, like inspirational truth that you are speaking so thank you for that.

Estrella Quiroz: 20:19

Oh, thank you, thank you. Thank you for listening.

Shireen Botha: 20:21

Should we jump in and ask you to tell us more about what is Last Farewells Sure?

Estrella Quiroz: 20:29

Yeah, yeah. So Last Four Walls is an end of life planning platform that helps you create your last messages and a memorial page that will get delivered after your passing so you can create last letters, last videos, last audio messages and you can schedule them upon your death. I don't know if many I'm sure many of you have seen many obituaries that are like she likes running and she is a light and she has these many surviving members and it's. There's just so much more to that person than what's being written after and in granted, families are grieving. They don't have time and headspace to really reflect on one's life at that very moment.

Estrella Quiroz: 21:11

So, they create this very generic obituary. So this memorial page, is you preparing that almost as a gift for your loved ones, so they don't have to stress it? Oh, this is a photo she wanted to choose. These are this is, these are the words she wanted to say. There's a last music playlist. So it's kind of like almost like fun for yourself and reflecting on your life, but also something that's going to be very useful to the people you love after. So I like to say we're filling the emotional gap and end of life planning, because in end of life planning, from what I've seen, it's mostly wills, estates, trust or the financial component, and I think a lot of people fail to realize the importance of just how strong of an impact words can have. And I'll go into my story with why I'm co-founding this.

Estrella Quiroz: 21:51

So, right three days before my dad passed away, he died on 11, 11. My birthday was 11, 8, november 8th, and he called me three times. I was mad at him for something else, so I declined. I vividly remember decline, decline, decline. And because of that he left three voicemails and in two of them he sings me happy birthday. And then the third one he tells me that he hopes a million angels look after me and that he loves me and that things are going to change. He promises and bye, and he didn't know he was going to pass away.

Estrella Quiroz: 22:21

So when the moment he died, the first thing I went was to go look at my calls. I looked at my voicemails and I found them. And I started bawling in the car and having that voicemail and just having him tell me that he loves me even though I was mad at him at the time it just it was so reassuring. It helped me so much with my own grief and I do believe that those words.

Estrella Quiroz: 22:39

My dad died dirt poor. He had holes in his shirts, he had literally nothing, nothing in his pocket. I have nothing from him, but these words that he left were so meaningful to me and it just goes to show that so many people have gifts that they don't even realize that they have. And especially, like you know, end of life planning can be expensive, it can be tedious, there's a lack of education, especially for black and minorities. So I want to kind of shift that narrative with Last Farewells by helping people see that their words are going to be so much more impactful than they could ever realize, and I'm proof of that. I've had something for the past 10 years that I still reuse. Proof of that I've had something for the past 10 years that I still reuse. Last month I threw this sunrise birthday party. 70 people came at sunrise. I got mariachis, I got a DJ and I played my dad's voicemail message where he's singing me happy birthday.

Estrella Quiroz: 23:27

I shared it with everyone and it was the best epic celebration, but a gift that he created unknowingly 11 years ago that I still like. I still enjoy every birthday. It's so simple and so, yeah, the concept of last farewells is it's it's it's farewells that are going to help you, your loved ones, with their grief, but also hopefully, give you a peace of mind when you're in the process of creating it. So that's kind of the long story of what last farewells is.

Shireen Botha: 23:54

I'll stop there wow, that's amazing and I love that concept. I absolutely love it. I love it. I think it's very special. I think there's always, when your loved ones pass away, I think we always walk away thinking, oh, there's so much left unsaid, um, even from their side, you know, leaving this world, I'm sure I mean, I wouldn't know. I've never been on my deathbed, but I can only imagine how it might be scary at some points, depending on where you are, um, and I'm sure there's lots that they want to say to their loved ones that are all going to be left behind. So I feel that's so special and I've never heard of anyone else doing it. So this is the first company in business I've heard doing this. So, estrella, I think you're doing an amazing, amazing job.

Tanya Scotece: 24:53

Tune in next week for part two from friends from wild places you've been listening to friends from wild places with Shireen Botha.

Voiceover: 25:04

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