Cuddle a Sheep, Call the Dead: A Mortician's Unusual Life

Elizabeth Fournier, known as "The Green Reaper," shares her unique approach to maintaining emotional balance while working in the funeral industry through unconventional methods like tending to Disney-named sheep and creating a "Wind Phone" where people can connect with deceased loved ones. She provides insight into the funeral profession while emphasizing the importance of self-care and compassion when dealing with grief and loss.

Elizabeth Fournier

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabeth-fournier-32211b5/
• Website: http://www.cornerstonefuneral.com/
• Email: elizabeth@cornerstonefuneral.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elizabethgreenreaper/

• Caring for sheep named after Disney princesses helps Elizabeth "fill her love tank" 
• The Wind Phone concept originated in Japan after a tsunami and provides a healing outlet for grief
• Elizabeth's funeral home in Boring, Oregon is also near the North American Bigfoot Center
• No One Dies Alone connects volunteers with people who would otherwise face death without companionship
• Personal stories of grief highlighted the universal fear of dying alone
• Elizabeth offers herself as a resource for those with questions about death, funerals, and green burial options

Join us as we support No One Dies Alone this month!

We need to be gentle with ourselves when dealing with death and grief. It's never a perfect scenario, and there's always going to be "would have, could have, should have" thoughts. But ultimately, the person who's passed is at peace—they're doing better than those of us left behind. We need to love ourselves through the process.

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Chapters

• 0:03 Episode Introduction
• 1:26 Refilling Your Tank as a Funeral Director
• 6:08 The Wind Phone: Connecting with Lost Loved Ones
• 10:17 Bigfoot and Other Oregon Wonders
• 10:52 No One Dies Alone: Supporting the Lonely
• 17:05 Two Truths and a Lie Game
• 24:39 Closing Thoughts and Contact Information

Transcript

Voiceover: 0:03

Tales from the wild, stories from the heart. A journey into the mind and soul of fired up business professionals, where they share their vision for the future and hear from a different non-profit organisation every month as they create awareness of their goals and their needs. Dive into a world of untamed passion. As we join our host, Shireen Botha, for this month's episode of Friends from Wild Places.

Shireen Botha: 0:35

With your line of work, Elizabeth. I'm sure that there's a lot of things that you see that can be quite stressful. I believe or you're probably just so used to it, as that's something that you deal with it every day but I'm sure there's a time, dealing with people, that you run out of steam, I would say. And so my question would be what are the things that you do to refill your tank so that you can keep giving? Because I think you're around death a lot and grief a lot, so to be around that 24-7 all the time, I believe it can take a toll on you. So what are the ways that you can just fill your tank again and keep giving?

Elizabeth Fournier: 1:26

Serena, I love how you say fill your tank, how I say it is fill my love tank. So yes, I got to fill that love tank. I got to top it off. Get it full, you give and then you can give back. So I have sheep and that's a really big deal.

Elizabeth Fournier: 1:39

Sheep are soft and cuddly and wonderful. And I used to have goats, but now I have sheep and the difference I can tell you is I like to read them a book. Now if you go in the field and sit down and take out a book, the sheep will actually kind of sit on your lap or nuzzle against you and rub and smell you with your little lips and all that when the goat all it wants to do is eat the book. It doesn't care less, it just wants to eat the book. So sheep are more gentle, they're more loving. We have all females. They basically are all named after Disney princesses because again we had a daughter who that was her thing. That's fine. So it's funny to have a field full of Rapunzel and Jasmine. You know all of that. But they're soft, lovely, cuddly. I don't know if they know their names. I yell their names out all the time. We, lovely cuddly. I don't know if they know their names. I yell their names out all the time. We let them out of the pasture they walk all over the driveway in the property. There was a while there. We left them in the house. But the problem with sheep is when they go to the bathroom they just decide I'm gonna go pee, pee and it's you know, there's a gallon of that. Or all of a sudden all these hot fecal balls are all over your carpet and you know it. Just you know and I'm not going to put diapers on the sheet these are farm animals but they love to be brushed.

Elizabeth Fournier: 2:53

I think their favorite music is mariachi. I sing to them. Um, the neighbors all think we're weird anyway. Um, I live in a neighborhood full of retired people. When we moved in 15 years ago they thought oh my gosh, there's people from a funeral home who live there and little do they know. That was the least weird thing about us. It's a singing full voice mariachi while brushing the sheep. But you know they can get it over the hearse.

Elizabeth Fournier: 3:16

Main thing is the animals. They are resplendent. My husband and I just our daughter just left for college two weeks ago and hearing about her life fills my love tank. It's just to know that we've launched this little baby bird off into the world doing great things. That is great, and I have made something out my window here at the funeral home because I spent so much time in my office. I have a little bird sanctuary and I implore people to if you're interested in birds, birds will come see you. Put something out there with water, Doesn't have to be any big deal. I've got a bird bath. I put water in, Water draws the birds. I've got a couple of feeders hanging. I've got something on the ground. The birds come and probably every day I see at least 12 to 15 different species and occasionally a bird will come through I've never seen before.

Elizabeth Fournier: 4:14

And that is thrilling because birds bring their bird friends and it's you know, bird food is not very expensive and it's exciting and plentiful and fills my love tank that's beautiful, beautiful, okay, elizabeth, I gotta ask.

Tanya Scotece: 4:31

So how many sheep are there currently?

Elizabeth Fournier: 4:35

right now there are six and they're healthy and good and like each other. Normally there's one animal, normally a goat, who thinks everything is theirs and they have to hit everybody. Or when the food comes they've got to be the first, or it's raining. They have to stand in the door of the barn and kick everybody out Jerks. So these six ladies of the field like each other and they get along and it's just. I want a peaceful kingdom. So glad to see it.

Tanya Scotece: 5:04

Gotcha, and what other animals do you have currently? You have just. I want a peaceful kingdom, so glad to see it. Gotcha, and what other animals do you have currently? You have dogs, I believe, correct.

Elizabeth Fournier: 5:09

Yes, dogs and cats and, yeah, we have a Bluetooth coon hound. His name is DB Cooper. You true crime ladies might know that he hijacked a plane in the 70s and he jumped out the back after he got a parachute and all this money and hijacked a plane in the 70s and he jumped out the back after he got a parachute and all this money and that was a big thing and he was never found again. But occasionally some of these bills they can see the serial numbers show up occasionally in different places in Washington. People will be digging someplace and some of these numbers maybe he buried stuff, who knows, but that was a big Pacific Northwest case. But his name is DB Cooper and he doesn't bark, he howls. So you let him out and you hear this crazy howling, because that's just what he does. Never had a howling dog before.

Elizabeth Fournier: 5:53

But there he is so there he is.

Tanya Scotece: 5:55

There he is. And also, what can you share with our us and our listeners about your I don't know what the actual name of it? It's the phone booth where people can call their past deceased relatives. Is that correct?

Elizabeth Fournier: 6:08

Is that? Yes, I have a wind phone and there's a wonderful website called my wind phone where you can look all across. I might just be the states I don't know if they have that out of the States yet but people have put a old rotary phone the states yet. But people have put a old rotary phone. Either they've affixed it to a tree or they've made a booth. What I have here outside the funeral home is I have this beautiful healing tree that I've got a bunch of chimes in and inside this chimes there's a pedestal and I have this wonderful silver rotary phone and I have a chair and some little gnomes and fairy houses and there's a sign saying you know, basically, it's a wind phone and let your words go through the trees and be carried up to your loved one. And it's for those who have had somebody pass away and you want to make a phone call to them and feel like, even though there's nobody on the receiving end of the phone, it's this feeling that you're connecting.

Elizabeth Fournier: 7:10

And this started in Japan. There was a very big tsunami a couple of years back and in a man's garden he built a really lovely white phone booth for his cousin that he missed greatly and inside he put a rotary phone and there was a pen and some paper and some flowers and he would go every day and call his cousin. And then people found out about it and said, well, can I call my grandma? Can I do? What have you? So then he put it online and said, please come, come into my garden and call and I will have people who stop by and say you know, I can't get over the grief of my father and I found a phone on a beach one day and something about this method is helping me move through my grief and my sadness. It's a bereavement tool and you know, I thought I was doing great things when I had a bereavement library here where I was saying you know, come borrow a book, come sit in the chapel, come sit in my garden and read a book. What have you? Take it, whatever you want to do, but the foam has brought such interesting people, from kooky characters to people who are sad, whomever who just want to come and have a moment.

Elizabeth Fournier: 8:17

And I built it because I wanted to talk to my dad and you know I would call him after my blind dates, of course, so he was my biggest fan, so occasionally I will have some wild thing happen. I'll just sit and have this great, delightful conversation and am I talking to his spirit, to the tree bark? Am I talking to the leaves? To the wind? I don't know. It's fantastic, it feels good, and when I get so tickled when people come and they say I don't need you, honey, I'm here for your windfall, I think it's great. So people in the community use it. People come from a distance. There's a map and I think there's five right now in the state of Oregon. So I'm on the route and it's just neat when people come.

Tanya Scotece: 9:00

Wow, you're an absolute treasure, elizabeth, truly Like I mean, it's just, it's just so interesting just hearing your journey and one of these days I want to come, I want to come, I want to have a sheep sit on. Is it a sheep? Is that singular A sheep?

Elizabeth Fournier: 9:19

no-transcript and I'll bring you to our the Bigfoot Museum. Boring, oregon is known for the North American Bigfoot Center. Oh, so we have a lot of big, big foot, big feet. We have a lot of Bigfoot sightings around here, so Sasquatch.

Tanya Scotece: 9:34

Is that a Sasquatch same thing or is that two different things? Sasquatch, okay, yeah.

Elizabeth Fournier: 9:39

Sasquatch, bigfoot, and they say, you know it's not like it's not a mythical character, it's not just one. There's like families of these know it's not like it's not a mythical character, it's not just one, there's like families of these things, apparently, there's 12,000. It's like a human animal, biped thing walking, and you know it's very realistic because it's in the trees and you don't see them because it has no need for people. But they're, they're like an animal, weird animal family group out there and uh, you know I think they're interested, an animal, weird animal family group out there and uh, you know I think they're interested in humans. But probably I think they probably find it's quite ridiculous. So who knows?

Tanya Scotece: 10:13

possibly fascinating, fascinating I love that.

Shireen Botha: 10:17

Thanks for sharing, elizabeth. Um, yeah, we come to that part of the podcast where we just chat about our non-profit for the month that we're supporting um. So, listeners, this this month we're supporting no one dies alonecom. Um, so we're excited to tell you a little bit more about that. No one dies alonecom. We'll have all of the information in the show notes, but, elizabeth, would you mind sharing with the listeners a little more about the organization and what it does for the community and, most importantly, how we can help them?

Elizabeth Fournier: 10:52

There's many people who die by themselves. They're either at their house, they're in a nursing home and they don't get visited, and a lot of people have said their dying wish is to be surrounded by friends and family or be at home, and that doesn't always get to happen. People don't always have friends and family or people aren't visiting. So when somebody is near death, they have a lot of times have requested through hospice of a nursing home. Can I just have somebody sit with me? Can I have somebody read with me when I'm nearing the end? I would love it if somebody would just come hold my hand, and so this website just allows you to be a volunteer and learn how to just sit and be still. And if somebody does want a cup of water or just, I think people just want to know that they're seen and someone's looking at them and they're not in this room by themselves, they can take that step into the unknown, feeling safe, feeling okay, knowing that someone has got their back.

Elizabeth Fournier: 11:54

I think that would be quite a lonely experience to just be at home knowing that your number is up and it's coming and what's going to happen. And I have. I've got some things I want to say I want to vocalize something, or you know, it'd be really comforting if somebody could put on some music for me, or I just want somebody in the room with me and all those I mean, who knows, right, we're all such different and unique people. And even if it's just I want somebody in the next room, just that idea of dying alone, I think, is scary for a lot of people. And how wonderful that they've made an organization that says but you don't have to, there's a lot of wonderful people who would be at the ready to be with you. We just need to know that this is what you want.

Tanya Scotece: 12:41

Elizabeth, can they volunteer also, or is it it monetary donations or what are ways that people can get involved? Because I, even as integrated I am in the funeral profession. I am not familiar with this not-for-profit.

Elizabeth Fournier: 12:56

Yeah, you can volunteer and of course there's a little bit of a vetting because you might be in someone's house we need to make sure you're there for good purposes and all.

Elizabeth Fournier: 13:06

But check out the website and see if it's in your area and just see if this is something where you would feel and kind of what the climate is too. You might call your local area who says, oh wonderful, we've got a big group of names and we can just kind of call down the list. Probably in smaller communities they might have one grief sitter, they might have one person and you need to be maybe a little bit more readily available. So I guess it would all be individual. But if that's of any interest to be able to provide some comfort and give of yourself, I mean, what a wonderful volunteer job. You're not having to necessarily prune the roses in a park or tender a trail in the rain. If you feel like you would like to be in the comfort of a nursing home and just maybe browsing through a Bible for somebody or just being able to sit and listen while somebody talks about their childhood memories, what a beautiful service you could offer of yourself.

Tanya Scotece: 14:04

Wow, well, and does that organization also support people who don't have anybody there for their own, let's say, burial? Does that organization can the people come out and be there for the person's you know, graveside service, for example? Can they come?

Elizabeth Fournier: 14:22

That's a great question. So I think you know it really focuses on end of life for that moment and being there to help that person transition. But I'm going to imagine if you are caretaking, sitting, being loving, being a part, you're going to develop some sort of bond or feeling for that individual and if you know that there might be some sort of a service or there might be something happening, I have a feeling most people who give of their heart this way would want to have some potential chance to be involved in something wow, beautiful, beautiful.

Shireen Botha: 14:58

Yeah, we're going to learn more about it yeah, I think it's amazing, um, every month we do have these non-profits that we we support and it's really Every month we do have these nonprofits that we support and it's really important that you know you find an organization to lend a hand and support financially all your time. But this one specifically tugs on the threads of my heart because I mean, you know, quite recently, my uncle just passed away from being stabbed with a rusty object and so he was in the hospital and he died alone and with us, and he has us. But because of the circumstances, he ended up being in this hospital, far away from us, far away from his family in the Cape, and he was there dying alone and he died alone. And for me, that keeps me up every night because I can't believe that happened and I wasn't next to him just to let him have somebody, just say it's okay, uncle, you can go um, or just having somebody. Um breaks my heart, it really does.

Shireen Botha: 16:13

That he went through that alone, um, and with that being said, even if you don't have an organization like this listeners, in your area you can find retirement villages or care units where a lot of elderly folk, as you've mentioned before, are in their final days, or you cancer patients that don't have very long to live and they might not have family members. You can find that person. There is always that person. There are a lot of people that don't have loved ones, that are dying by themselves. So, yeah, this is quite an important one for me, so that tugs on my heart.

Shireen Botha: 16:51

So we'll leave all the information in the show notes below listeners and find out where the closest one is to you and support however you can. Thank you very much, elizabeth, for this time that you've shared with us today. We are going to go into something a little bit more lighthearted and play a little bit of a game called Two Truths and a Lie. I don't know if any one of you have played it before, but basically you just mentioned three statements. Two of them will be true about yourself and then one won't be true, and we have to guess what. That is the lie.

Tanya Scotece: 17:27

So, tanya, would you mind just yeah, Shireen, I just first of all want to express my condolences. I did not know about your uncle's passing, and so I just want you to know that you know my heart and my heart and thoughts are with you. So I appreciate you, Thank you.

Elizabeth Fournier: 17:43

All right. So be gentle on yourself, shireen. Be gentle that's a really important thing to, just because you did the best you could. The situation wasn't ideal and he's fine and I'm sure, has a lot of forgiveness and love and it's good, you know, even though it feels weird.

Tanya Scotece: 18:04

Yeah, yeah, allow yourself to move through that, thank you yeah yeah okay, so our um, our wrap-up, um game shereen, it's two truths and a lie. Is that correct? Yes, okay, okay, here we go. So, ladies, we have to guess what is the lie out of these three statements? Okay so, I love to travel, I have a cat. My favorite food is caviar.

Shireen Botha: 18:39

I'm going to say you don't have a cat. I think I know this one. No way.

Tanya Scotece: 18:46

So Shireen says I okay, let's, let's think about it again.

Shireen Botha: 18:52

I'm gonna say you don't have a cat because you we've met. No, you don't have a cat because you always are dog sitting for your friends, so you don't have a cat.

Tanya Scotece: 19:00

That's the lie how about you, elizabeth? Which one do you think?

Elizabeth Fournier: 19:13

Oh well, okay, I'm going to. Well, are you a decadent caviar lady? Maybe you are. Of course, Of course.

Tanya Scotece: 19:22

My favorite food. It is like I could eat it. First of all, all it's not that I get it often, okay, so let me let the listeners just say it's not that I get it often. But if somebody wants to get me a gift, like, like an ultimate gift, it would be black caviar, and I don't need anything except a spoon or a little butter knife and I just eat it, like, just like that, in one sitting. I cannot even put in the fridge. So it's, yeah, it's a hardcore caviar. So, shereen, you are correct, I do not have a cat.

Shireen Botha: 19:52

Oh, my gosh, elizabeth, let's, let's, go to you. That was a good one, tanya. Go for it, elizabeth that's good.

Elizabeth Fournier: 20:02

That's good, that's good. Okay, all right. I have summited three mountains, I have three tattoos and I currently gosh there's just so many fun ones to think about and I currently stuck my fork in a can of garbanzo beans and that was my breakfast see, this is a little bit difficult because we don't really know you that well, so I'm gonna say well, I'm speaking for myself.

Shireen Botha: 20:42

Yeah, I'm going to say that that you don't have three tattoos, you only have two.

Tanya Scotece: 20:58

I don't know how many or lack thereof, but I'm gonna say I don't think you have tattoos, so I don't think that's a bad guess okay, um.

Elizabeth Fournier: 21:10

So I do love garbanzo beans out of the can and I have summited three mountains. No tattoos, good job no tattoos.

Tanya Scotece: 21:17

Okay, yay, we win, we win. Good for us, good for us. Okay. How about you shireen? We gotta hear from you all right.

Shireen Botha: 21:26

So now I'm gonna try and, and and to get things that tanya, uh haven't spoken to tanya about, so maybe I can catch tanya, because she knows me quite well now. Um, two truths, two truths, one lie. I have never seen snow before, I have only owned one fur baby in my life and I have put out a fire in the overhead storage in flights. I think you've heard that before, tanya, but I don't know if you know if it's a true or lie. So which one is the lie?

Elizabeth Fournier: 22:13

I'm gonna say snow just because of where you live, but I guess you can't travel, so no that's a tough one, shireen.

Tanya Scotece: 22:25

Um, let me see. So I I'm gonna go with I, I know, I know about the fur baby, I know the one, so I'm gonna say that one is the lie. Maybe you've had two, I don't know.

Shireen Botha: 22:46

Well, the lie is the fact that I have never seen snow Really.

Tanya Scotece: 22:50

Oh, okay, I have never, seen snow, okay, okay, wow. So what's the lie? You have seen snow, I have seen snow, wow. So what's the lie? Oh, you have seen snow.

Shireen Botha: 23:06

I have seen snow, so I've never seen snow. That's not true. I have seen snow. Okay, so that brings us to the fur baby.

Tanya Scotece: 23:17

One the fur baby was. You had one One fur baby Right Right, okay, that's my one. And I baby was. You had one one fur baby right, right, okay, that's my one.

Elizabeth Fournier: 23:22

And I know about the fire and this airplane thing happened.

Shireen Botha: 23:26

Yeah, that's true.

Elizabeth Fournier: 23:29

Yes, and you put out a fire in an overhead department on a plane.

Shireen Botha: 23:33

Yes, because I used to work With what? With a fire extinguisher. Because I used to work on board planes. So we had a fire extinguisher in the galley and the passengers alerted us to the smoke coming out of the overhead storage. I jumped into action, got the fire extinguisher and fought the fire, and there you have it.

Elizabeth Fournier: 24:01

Was it a lit candle? What was it?

Shireen Botha: 24:05

it was batteries that weren't stored correctly, so they were just thrown in. As a block bed was two batteries that were supposed to go into one of those um vapes, and he had just thrown it into a bag, wouldn't store it correctly, and so they created heat and friction which caused a fire which ignited the bag and ignited the bag next to it. And so, yeah, yeah, crazy, wow, there's, that's yeah, wow, I, what a podcast I am.

Tanya Scotece: 24:39

This is like delightful, like I really feel like I could spend the rest of the day with you, ladies and uh, but it's been amazing yeah, thank you so much, listeners, for listening we.

Shireen Botha: 24:49

We have come to the end, so, uh, this is the time where we just share, where you can actually connect with us. If you feel connected and you want to ask questions, you can reach us. Where tanya go? You start? Where can the listeners reach you?

Tanya Scotece: 25:04

Sure. So most of my students know of Elizabeth Fournier, the Green Reaper, so super excited for this podcast, so I'll definitely be sharing with my students. So most of you know I can be found on LinkedIn because I don't have a TV or any other outlet to do social media, so LinkedIn is my hub. I oversee the mortuary program at Miami Dade College, so perhaps some of you listeners out there may decide it is time to change careers and become a funeral director. I also oversee senior placement, matching people with communities who can no longer live alone, specializing in memory care and the dementia patients.

Tanya Scotece: 25:48

So that is an expertise that I did because of my father and I truly call it my blessed work. I also serve frequently as an expert witness in funeral home and cemetery litigation cases. That has actually taken off. I could probably do that full time if I wanted to. So those are the three areas that you can find me LinkedIn, and I'm sure Shereen will put the information in the show notes. Okay, and Elizabeth, as we share your contact information, feel free to also elaborate on anything that we did not ask you where you feel that it's important to have the listeners know, as you share your contact information.

Elizabeth Fournier: 26:23

Sure. So my website, cornerstonefuneralcom. The reason why I give that is, of course, not everybody in my area, but I am someone who does this work and consider yourself having a mortician friend that you can actually email, call, get a hold of. You can even text the funeral home number. People have questions all the time, such as what happens with social security and my person's a veteran. What do I get? And I can answer just vague, broad, general green questions, funeral questions, happy to help.

Elizabeth Fournier: 26:58

So I'm in the town of Boring Oregon Never gets boring. I'm on Instagram, too, and I do a lot of photos of what natural organic reduction looks like and this is a beautiful shroud and I'm at Elizabeth Green Reaper. I'm on a couple other social medias, but not overly active on them, and the information that I just want to get out there is sort of what I was sharing with Shireen is we need to be really gentle on ourselves Death is really hard it's the hardest thing that we go through, no matter what the scenario is and really being forgiving and gentle and loving towards ourselves, because it's never going to be the perfect scenario. There's so much would have, could have, should have have, but ultimately, especially in reference to the person who's passed away. They're doing great. They're doing better than us here who are left behind. They're fine, they're at peace and we need to again just love ourselves, thank you shereen?

Tanya Scotece: 27:56

how about you? Where can we find you?

Shireen Botha: 27:58

yeah, so you can find me at all the social medias. I'm there, but Shireen's bookkeeping is mostly on LinkedIn and Instagram, more importantly, the friendsfromwildplaces. buzzsprout. com. That is the website friendsfromwildplaces. buzzsprout. com, but you can find the podcast on all of the platforms, from apple iTunes to Deezer to Spotify. You just have to search for friends from wild places. You'll find us. Um and please, once again, it's just a friendly reminder that if you want to support us a little bit more, please go subscribe for a small amount of five dollars a month. We'd really appreciate it. But other than that, thank you so much for listening. Once again, we really appreciate you and remember you got this and stay wild.

Voiceover: 28:47

bye guys, bye, bye you've been listening to friends from wild places with Shireen Botha. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast from the links to catch every episode and unleash your passion.