Grief Work, Real Talk

What if the most powerful credential in grief care isn’t a license, but a life? We sit down with Terri, a grief companion and community builder, to unpack how showing up—consistently, vulnerably, and without polish—became the engine of a mission-driven practice. From the early days of obscurity to becoming “that grief lady” people recognize in restaurants, Terri shares the slow, human work of building trust online, the courage to speak about failure in death care, and the reason lived experience can change how a room breathes.

Terri Chaplin

• Website: https://www.myhealingheartscommunity.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/terri.chaplin/
• Email: tchaplin@livingingratitudewtlc.com
• Tel: +1 301-481-1291
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/teresa-terri-chaplin-54043352/

Our nonprofit spotlight turns to Kitchen Table Conversations, founded by Garrick Colwell, offering accessible webinars on advanced care planning and anticipatory grief. Caregivers facing dementia or terminal illness often don’t realize what they’re feeling has a name; giving them language and tools is an act of relief and dignity. We close with a grounding breath, a playful word association game, and clear ways to connect with Terri, Tanya, and Shireen. If you believe empathy should lead the way in grief, caregiving, and end-of-life planning, this conversation will feel like a steady hand on your shoulder.

Join us as we support Kitchen Table Conversations this month!

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Transcript

Meet Host And Guest

Voiceover (Simba) 0:03

Tales from the Wild. Stories from the Heart. A journey into the mind and soul of fighter business professionals where they share their vision for the future. And hear from a different nonprofit organization every month as they create awareness of their goals and their needs. Dive into a world of untamed passion. As we join our host, Shireen Botha, for this month's episode of Friends from Wild Places.

Biggest Challenge As A Grief Entrepreneur

Shireen Botha 0:35

So, you know, back to you, Terri. With you being a business owner, an entrepreneur, someone that has paved the way for an area that was not there before you, um, I think it's important to chat about, you know, what was the biggest struggle you faced as an entrepreneur in this journey of being a grief companion? What, you know, having your own business, you know, going with that. What was one of your biggest challenges and how did you get over it?

Authenticity, Vulnerability, And Trust

Speaking Up About Funeral Care Gaps

Lived Experience As Core Expertise

Terri Chaplin 1:12

Uh, probably the biggest was just putting getting my name out there, you know, getting people to know who I was, to hear my story. And um it's really easy to give up if you don't see traction really early on. And I think that probably happens more often than not. And I just was determined that I wasn't that wasn't gonna happen to me. So I seriously have shown up on, I really built my business on social media. I didn't do any paid marketing, um, but it took intention and hard work, and I had to show up every single day and talk about it. And that's people started recognizing when you saw my face or my curly gray hair. That's normally what people will recognize me for. Oh, I I I recognize you. My husband and I go out to dinner, and people have this happens to us frequently. Like, I know you. Oh, you're that grief lady. I'm like, yeah, that you know, that's me. And like, oh, it's the hair. The I'll never forget your hair. Thank you. I don't know if that's a thank you or not, but um, so it was really getting people to to like building that no like and trust factor, I guess. So um consistency is key. Like you have to, you can't just start putting yourself out there trying to build a business, show up for yourself for a month or two months, and then say, well, well, nobody's buying anything, nobody's signing up for anything, no one's following me, and call it quits, because I can tell you it has taken all these years where I'm like I I feel like uh my business is doing wonderful. I feel like I'm touching the lives that I want to touch. I'm make I'm reaching the people that I want to reach. And I'm I'm making the impact that I want to make, but it took showing up every single day and vulnerability speaking from my heart, like really sharing what's on my heart and being authentic to me. That's part of what we just talked about with you know, Tanya bringing up the funeral profession thing. I didn't talk about that. It's only been recently that I've talked about that. And I want to probably say with her, have I talked about it publicly? Um, it because I always I didn't want to anybody to I didn't want to point fingers or it just wasn't something I wasn't comfortable talking about. And but the more I learn about the way things should be and the way they can be and the way they are in some places, the more I realize, okay, I do need to talk about this because it does need to change everywhere. It's it's not okay for there to even still be one location that doesn't treat people with compassion, that treats, you know, those in grief like a transaction. And they no one should have to go through those experiences in today's world. There's too much, you know, too much accessible to us to learn about what to say and what not to say. And so just being authentically myself, showing up every single day, sharing my story openly. And you know, I always uh say I show up messy. I don't care, I just show up if I am having a bad day. I've I've got some videos out there with not looking my best. And but that's okay. It's like I still showed up and I still shared my story. And I think people resonate with that. They resonate with the fact that um I get it. And I and I feel like um for the longest time I couldn't say I got asked one time early on, what makes you the perfect person to do this? And I struggled with that. Like, who am I to be doing this? What does make me? But I can answer that wholeheartedly now, and it's my lived experience that makes me the perfect person. I do, I have the education, I've learned all of the things, I've read lots of books, I have like the book knowledge, but it's my lived experience that gives me the true empathy that resonates with other people when they sit down with me and I'm holding space for their grief. You can't fake that, you can't make that up. It's either you you have it or you you don't. And I feel like those of us who've had the lived experience um have a greater ability to do that um than others.

Resources At My Healing Hearts Community

Tanya Scotece 6:01

And that and that, Terri, I think again, it goes back to, you know, even within the funeral profession, you know, death care space of people, you know, choosing or it chose them to be amongst people who are grieving or, you know, with loss working in funeral home settings, it's like no one truly can hold a candle to you because they can go through the textbooks, they can get licensed, they can take their CEUs. But when you share your story, especially with funeral professionals, so if somebody challenges you to say, you know, what where are you coming from? What do you have? I mean, you have your story, and that that to me is is your golden ticket to anyone that that wants to listen, really. You know what I mean? Because because that that is like one area. Um, I just wanted to um, if you could share just a little bit as far as so you I know I hear you you have your website, you do a lot of um your writing, and you have a lot of um areas that people can um get. Can you just kind of summarize, for example, as far as your materials out there? So if people are interested in learning more, um, as far as just what what area can they you know seek out? Um whether it's articles or where can they find what you're currently working on?

Terri Chaplin 7:19

Uh sure. Yeah, well, the my healing hearts community is is pretty much the hub of everything that I do. So that's where you'll find um, and it is myhealinghearts community.com. Um, you'll find all of the grief support that I offer, all of the free resources that I offer. Um, because I I do I offer free resources for grief support, you know, coping and healing after loss. Um, I have a free understanding grief mini course that that you can access there. But I also do like how to uh build and launch your own coaching business. I have a workbook that's accessible. I have some for funeral professionals on how to take care of themselves and avoid compassion fatigue and then what to say and what not to say. Um all of my courses that I offer, I do have an accredited certification in master grief coaching and also a life coaching certification program. Those you can find there. All of there's a link to all of my blog posts that you can find there. And if you want, like if you're looking for just grief support or a space where you don't want to pay for anything, but you do want to learn more about grief, my Facebook page is probably the best. And it's it's under Terry Lynn Chaplin. Um, that's probably the best place to find all of that. I share articles, like I've been published in the um different the Memento Mar Mori magazine. Um, I think I'll I have one coming out soon with the independent penal directors of Florida. Um, but my blog posts, I have newsletter on LinkedIn, I do a lot of writing there, um, just to as another avenue to share knowledge and and share information. But most everything can be found at myhealingheartscommunity.com.

Nonprofit Spotlight: Kitchen Table Conversations

Shireen Botha 9:18

That's awesome. Listeners, you'll have all of that in the show notes as well. So don't worry. Um, if you missed any of that, you can also rewind and go back and listen to it again. But also while you added Terri, um, we as mentioned before, Friends and Wild Places, we like to support a nonprofit every month. And so this month we specifically want to support Kitchentable conversations.org. Um, I'd love for you just to share with the listeners a little bit more about that organization, uh, how they can support that organization and what that organization does for the community.

Terri Chaplin 9:57

Sure. Um, well, I met um Garrett Colwell. He's the founder of Kitchen Table Conversations. I met him through just doing connections on LinkedIn. Um, but he's an amazing human being. So he's he's certified in grief work. Um, also he works really closely with David Kessler and Dr. Alan Wolfeld. Um, and he actually sits in for David Kessler sometimes on some of his trainings, but his nonprofit kitchen table conversations, um, it it helps people with an array of different things, but advanced care planning webinars, and they do a lot of uh anticipatory grief training webinars. Um, so everything is done virtually, so it's accessible to anyone, you know, anywhere. Um a lot of stuff are end-of-life caregivers. Uh, so it's just a it's a a hub, uh nonprofit hub that puts on these um webinars to provide grief support, helping people with end-of-life care planning. And it comes from Garrick's own personal lived experiences with with loss and grief as well. But their work is beautiful. It's always heart-led. And um, he's just, I think we share a little bit of the same mission to spread, you know, the the uh grief literacy to help educate others about it, um, what you need to do as far as advanced care planning on his end. And then anticipatory grief is is something that he specifically targets a lot of. And that's something that I talk a lot about too. That's for the caregivers that are taking care of a loved one who's been diagnosed with a terminal illness or dementia patients, um, to just offer support and understanding because a lot of times they don't even realize that what they're feeling is grief of any kind. They just they know they have these emotions, they they know they have these feelings, and he really shines a light on that in such a beautiful way and um in such a bigger platform. Um, so I love uh I love following him and and seeing the work that they're doing. So I love that you're offering to support that organization. And just going to their website, you anyone can sign up for the webinars if you see something that's of interest to you. And they also take donations.

Grounding Breaths And Light Game

Shireen Botha 12:26

Thank you so much. Thank you. You heard it, listeners. I will have all that information in the show notes, but please think seriously about it and go and check it out online and really take the time to try and support wherever possible because that's what life's about. It's to lift up others and support others in their need and in their time of need. So I can't believe we've come to the end of the podcast so quickly and trying to squash as much information in in this type amount of time can be um challenging. So, with that said, we've gotten to a little bit of a light-hearted section uh where we normally play a game or we ask a light-hearted question. Uh, so today we're going to do the word association game. And I'm not sure if anyone out there that's listening, or Terri or Tanya, if you've played this game, I know Tanya's played it with us before. Um, but if you don't know, you don't. Okay. Terry's shaking her head. Okay. Um, basically, we're going to start off with a word, and you have to then we're going to go around the room so the order can be myself, Tanya, and Terry, and then back to me again, and we'll keep on going that way. You have to come up with a word that is similar to the word we start off with. So each word, um, each player's word is associated with the word before, creating a chain of related words. The round can end after a predetermined number of terms when players run out of the words, or if they repeat a word or it takes too long. So five seconds, we gotta quickly go around as fast as possible, try not to repeat the word and as many words as possible associated with the word before that. Okay, we got it.

Reflections On Purpose And Work

Tanya Scotece 14:19

Yes. Um, I mean, I just actually want to just do a like maybe 30-second just kind of debriefing, just kind of like a cleansing breath, just to kind of move into our lighthearted if that's okay with uh you and Terry. So um I'm big on uh kind of debriefing after you know such you know heartfelt topics. And um, so okay, so um let's do a breathing um for like 30 seconds. So on the count of three, I'm gonna have you take a deep breath in and hold it through your nose and hold it for five, four, three. Release if you want to through your mouth slowly. Don't hyperventilate, and we're gonna do it one more time through your nose, and through your nose. As deep as you can go. Hold, hold, hold if you can, and then release through your mouth. In one more time, in through your nose. And out through your mouth, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slow as you can go. Okay, so that was three cleansing breaths. Okay, so I think we're well and grounded, uh, feet on the ground. We can shake out the uh energy and we're good to regroup with Shireen. So, okay, I think we got the instructions, Shireen. You're gonna say a word, then I have to pick up with something associating with word, and then to Terry, and then back to you. And if we get stuck, it ends there. If not, we go for X amount of turns. Is that correct? Right.

Shireen Botha 15:56

Right. And you can't take too long. So you go five seconds to answer. Okay. Okay. Awesome. So the word is grief. Go ahead, Tanya. Love me. Sorry, guys. Okay. Okay. That was that was good. Butterflies threw me off. I don't know why. Butterflies threw me off, and then I think and then I got distracted. My brain went and did a brain fart. Has that ever happened to you? And then you've kind like completely lost the person that before you anyway.

Terri Chaplin 17:17

Yeah.

Shireen Botha 17:18

Sorry.

Tanya Scotece 17:18

Butterflies are a beautiful way to really um, you know, to capture um strong emotions, to release emotions. So they're used in so many different um arenas, you know.

Terri Chaplin 17:31

So yeah, the butterflies are and to show transformation and change. Um we've done two butterfly releases on the anniversary of Tyler's passing. So butterflies are a huge deal for us. And butterflies are helped is one way that Tyler lets me know that he's here or nearby. So that could very well be. I'm gonna take that as a sign that yes, oh yes, the word uh right. That you said butterfly on purpose because it caught you so off guard. I love that. Yeah, I feel like that was intentional.

Shireen Botha 18:04

All right, good. Anytime there's like a real like that's the the chills come on. I know it's like the truth is being spoken.

Tanya Scotece 18:10

So yeah, and Terri, you know, before before we, you know, uh part our ways today, I just want to, you know, one thing that really resonated with me today in hearing your journey, and it's not the first time I've heard it, but every time I hear it, it's a I take away something different. And I will say that what I took away today that was different was based on Shireen's question about being, you know, it it's you know, it's a business, right? Like you, you know, this is your work, it's your mission, you know, you are doing a lot of things like a lot of our listeners out there, you know, marketing yourself, trying to navigate. But what I really took away was your journey with your emotions of your loss is actually what propels you to go forward. Where I think so many business owners or workers in any capacity, whether you own your business or not, a lot of times we go to work to distract ourselves from our reality, right? So whatever's happening in the background and the noise or you know, personal losses and whatever's happening, we go to work to kind of, I don't want to say distract, but you leave that part home. Where yours, it's kind of like up close and personal, like you are walking, literally like walking the walk. I really, it's just, it just, I don't know, it resonated differently what when I asked Shereen pose the question to you, because you know, yeah, everybody can face, you know, people that are asking, you know, literally like odd questions, stupid questions, but you're like you're there with your heart literally on your sleeve and having to navigate that also. So I really just I admire your work so much and everything that you do, truly.

Terri Chaplin 19:52

Thank you. Thank you. I really appreciate that. I I accept and receive all of that. Thank you.

Where To Find The Hosts & Guest

Shireen Botha 19:58

Thank you, Terri. And so, listeners, if you want to reach out to Terri in any way, shape, or form, or inspired by her story, or if you want to reach out to myself or Tanya, we're gonna quickly, three seconds or less, go around the room quickly and just mention a few places that you can find us. So, Terri, where can someone find you if they want to get in touch with you personally or however?

Terri Chaplin 20:22

Um, you can find me at LinkedIn um professionally, uh, Teresa Terri Chaplin, uh, Facebook Terri Lynn Chaplin, um, or my healing hearts community, you can chat with me there if you're curious or interested. You can schedule a free discovery call to talk about, you know, whatever's on your heart and see if something that I can provide is a good fit for you.

Shireen Botha 20:47

Tanya, what about yourself?

Tanya Scotece 20:50

All right. So, for most of the listeners that do follow us, uh, people know that I don't have a TV, so I do spend a lot of time on LinkedIn. So that's a good hub for me. Um, I kind of work in a tripod, so I oversee the program at Miami Dade College for the funeral service education program. So, anyone wanting a career change or thinking about a career, um, we do offer the college credit certificate and we offer the associate of science degree. So, both are funeral related. The certificate is for Florida specific, and the AS pretty much is in the United States to become a funeral director. Um, also, I work in the legal realm as far as serving as an expert witness for funeral home and cemetery litigation cases. I get consulted quite regularly, and I've served many, many cases. I have quite a few active ones right now. And last but not least, I do serve in the world of dementia or cognitive decline. I serve as a senior placement specialist, matching people with communities who can no longer support themselves either physically or cognitively. So that is a free service. We get paid if we match a person. With the right community. So no charge to use our services. Would welcome any conversation and um always available to collaborate, um, serve on a panel discussion or be a guest speaker at any event that somebody may be be having out there. So that's where to find me. And how about you, Shireen?

Closing & Support Reminder

Shireen Botha 22:17

Oh, thank you. So, yeah, you can find Shireen Botha on most socials, as well as Shireen's bookkeeping on most socials. Friends from Wild Places, as you heard, we are on uh YouTube if you want to see our faces and hear us, or you could just go on any of the streaming platforms and look up Friends from Wild Places. We are on all of them. Um, leave us a remark, um, a review, let us know what you think. Uh, subscribe if you want to subscribe just for five dollars a month. We would really appreciate your support. Um, but other than that, that brings us to the end. We hope that you enjoyed this time with myself, with Terry, and with Tanya, and we hope to see you next time. And remember, you got this and stay wild. Bye, guys. Bye bye.

Voiceover (Simba) 23:10

You've been listening to Friends from Wild Places with Shireen Botha. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast from the links to catch every episode and unleash your passion.